You left this world on 5 December 2008. In the wake of your sudden departure, lies a pathway scattered with broken hearts and puddles of water formed by the tears of those who have survived you. How, though, does one survive the aftermath of a sudden loss? The reality is too unreal for a mind to comprehend. You were too young, too vibrant, too full of life, too PRESENT to suddenly no longer be.
We all say it shouldn't have been you but I know you know differently. You do understand that it's harder for us, don't you? We have no comprehension of where you are. We have ideas. But we've been told so many different things, how does one really know what to believe? How do you balance logic and reason when there is a total lack of any logic and reason; when your world is tipped on its axis and balance is impossible? How do you begin to tell the broken hearts that it's going to be ok; that you haven't really left at all?
I know you haven't left. I can feel you. Perhaps that's normal. Perhaps it's wishful thinking. You seem peaceful and relaxed. Or is that just my hopeful mind playing tricks on me? How can I sit and talk about this calmly when, every few minutes, the thought of it takes my breath away. How can someone be, and then not be, within the space of a few seconds? How do you get your mind around such a solid fact, when that fact seems to be surrounded by an invisible force field and comprehension just bounces right off of it.
I know you haven't left. I can hear your voice in my head, or is that just my own voice playing tricks on me? I talk out loud to myself so that, when I talk to you, I can convince myself it's normal. Although I'm almost positive you answer me back, what if I just wish you did?
I've experienced loss before, but I was able to start dealing with the loss long before it actually occurred. You didn't give us any time. Was there a reason for that? I know, I know, you have your reasons. I don't want to question the natural order of things. You seem to know what you're doing. This is a very hard lesson for so many people. Do you think they're all strong enough to take the lesson and run with it? Even the strongest person has a limit to what they can withstand. If I'm struggling, there are people who are finding this a thousand times harder.
Does it hurt you to see that? You always had so much love for so many people. You couldn't bear to see anyone sad or hurting. You had a natural gift for empathy. Now that you've left that life and are looking at the bigger picture, it must seem like we're making a mountain out of a molehill. I do think that, the person who you were, was your soul reflected in human form and the caring and compassion you had for people, is a caring and compassion you have for all souls, from whatever dimension. I know you hurt for us, even as I know you are at peace.
I think you chose to come back in that particular form, for very specific reasons. There were souls here, who needed you. We needed to learn from you. You achieved what you set out to do. I'm sure you know that. You taught so many people that love is simple and that it can cure anything. You showed us that life doesn't have to be so complicated, that's it's not worth sweating the small stuff. You had a quiet wisdom that was evident in the times when people needed you, evident in so many ways.
You also had your lessons to learn. In human form, we all succumb to the phrase, "We're only human. We all make mistakes." Your lessons, in turn, were lessons for us. I know you learnt from those around you and you grew from it. You were an old soul to begin with. It didn't take you long to reach the level you aimed for. It wasn't long before we were all learning from you.
You also knew that you had to leave, and that your leaving would be one of the hardest lessons of all, for those you left behind. But before you left you had one more thing to do. You took a soul that was broken and hurting, and helped it to heal, simply by showing it that love could be easy, unconditional and without complication. You truly are a beautiful soul.
Even though I know you're still around, you are missed. Even with your voice in my head, the sadness sometimes overwhelms me and I hope you understand that. We are just human. We are not infallible. I will try, for your sake, to be strong and to pay it forward wherever I can. I'll take the lessons you are teaching me and learn from them. I will never be the same again and I can thank you for that and you know my reasons. You will be missed. The hole you've left can't be filled. There was only one you. But we will all, somehow, adjust to the empty space there.
I know you are peaceful and I'm thankful for that. I know you are happy and, for that, too, I am thankful. I'm also thankful for the brief time we had with you on earth and for all that you gave us. There is so much, that was good, to remember and I'll always treasure those memories. Though we miss you, I know we will see you again when the time is right.
In the meantime, I will try and adjust to the hole in my life and try and fill it with the memories to keep you close.
So, until we meet again, fly, little angel.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
They can't take that away from me
I've always loved our house. The minute I walked through the door I felt a peaceful energy emanating from the beautiful pressed ceilings right down to the wooden floors and everything in between. It was home before we even made it home. We spent months decorating, making it an extension of us and it truly has become a part of us; our first home together, a safe haven from anything that would harm us. How is one supposed to feel, then, when it suddenly betrays you and you realise the illusion of safety that you had created, was, in fact, just that; an illusion.
It really is peculiar how things can change in a heartbeat. One minute you're getting ready for bed after a long day, the next you're sitting with an ice-pack on your face and fear leaking from every pore in your body and no amount of warmth can stop the shaking.
Daylight brings a false sense of security but you realise that too, is an illusion, when one small, unexpected noise sends your heart rate through the roof and your breathing suddenly comes in short, desperate gasps.
You try to fill your day with mundane tasks. You find, all of a sudden, that if you stop doing those things, and you have a moment without activity, your mind has too much time to form thoughts that you don't want in your head right now.
You try checking your emails or making your way through the work you've been putting aside or reading a book or a magazine, and suddenly your throat begins to close and your eyes well up and you're crying for no apparent reason. How do you explain away crying over an article about "foods to aid digestion"? There's no logical explanation for it and you feel like a fool but that doesn't make it stop.
You used to have no problem with being on your own. Now, suddenly, the silence is threatening, every dark corner seems menacing and you start finding excuses to leave the house. Anything to be away from your thoughts, to try and escape from the danger, you feel certain, is lurking just around the corner.
The freedom I took for granted is gone; freedom to move from room to room casually and without thought, freedom to laugh, to relax, to be at peace in my own space. I'm not sure when anything will feel the same again. You secured my insecurity in one single moment. If I could summon hatred for you maybe I could find enough anger in me to get past the fear, but I can't get past the fear and I hate what you've made me FEEL, but I can't hate someone I don't even know.
YOU don't know me... and yet you clearly hate me, or you hate the person you perceive me to be. Maybe I do have a degree... Who told you musicians don't? Who told you they're stupid? Who told you that you're better than me BECAUSE you have a degree? Are you a failed musician? Are you that insecure? Is that the reason for your hatred? I want to understand. How much hatred does one have to feel to attack someone they don't know, in their own home, for reasons that make no sense? I don't care how much you dislike someone, violence is not a solution. When you turn to violence, you have crossed a line. Once you cross that line you will keep finding excuses to do it again, and again, and again.
But I can assure you, it won't be on our watch. Never again. That will be the last time you get to test those fists in my vicinity, on myself or my partner.
We've always loved our house.
I will not let you take that from us.
It really is peculiar how things can change in a heartbeat. One minute you're getting ready for bed after a long day, the next you're sitting with an ice-pack on your face and fear leaking from every pore in your body and no amount of warmth can stop the shaking.
Daylight brings a false sense of security but you realise that too, is an illusion, when one small, unexpected noise sends your heart rate through the roof and your breathing suddenly comes in short, desperate gasps.
You try to fill your day with mundane tasks. You find, all of a sudden, that if you stop doing those things, and you have a moment without activity, your mind has too much time to form thoughts that you don't want in your head right now.
You try checking your emails or making your way through the work you've been putting aside or reading a book or a magazine, and suddenly your throat begins to close and your eyes well up and you're crying for no apparent reason. How do you explain away crying over an article about "foods to aid digestion"? There's no logical explanation for it and you feel like a fool but that doesn't make it stop.
You used to have no problem with being on your own. Now, suddenly, the silence is threatening, every dark corner seems menacing and you start finding excuses to leave the house. Anything to be away from your thoughts, to try and escape from the danger, you feel certain, is lurking just around the corner.
The freedom I took for granted is gone; freedom to move from room to room casually and without thought, freedom to laugh, to relax, to be at peace in my own space. I'm not sure when anything will feel the same again. You secured my insecurity in one single moment. If I could summon hatred for you maybe I could find enough anger in me to get past the fear, but I can't get past the fear and I hate what you've made me FEEL, but I can't hate someone I don't even know.
YOU don't know me... and yet you clearly hate me, or you hate the person you perceive me to be. Maybe I do have a degree... Who told you musicians don't? Who told you they're stupid? Who told you that you're better than me BECAUSE you have a degree? Are you a failed musician? Are you that insecure? Is that the reason for your hatred? I want to understand. How much hatred does one have to feel to attack someone they don't know, in their own home, for reasons that make no sense? I don't care how much you dislike someone, violence is not a solution. When you turn to violence, you have crossed a line. Once you cross that line you will keep finding excuses to do it again, and again, and again.
But I can assure you, it won't be on our watch. Never again. That will be the last time you get to test those fists in my vicinity, on myself or my partner.
We've always loved our house.
I will not let you take that from us.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Walking the tightrope
I am just one person... One person with a million thoughts...But I have only one dream. At least it started as a dream, briefly became a reality, as if to tease me, and then once again became a dream. It will probably always be this way. Most times I'm sure it's still what I want to do with my life. When I was younger I was never more sure about anything than the fact that I wanted to sing my songs. When you're young you don't think about practicalities. I didn't say to myself, "I want to make a living with my music." I merely said,"I want to sing my songs." The dreamer in me thought that that would feed me somehow. I think it was that attitude that got me to where I am though. If I think about it, when it came to music, I never thought twice, I just said yes, and the universe heard me. There was nothing calculating about it, no ulterior motives, no thoughts of whether or not it'd make me famous, put food on my table, pay my bills... It was just an inherent love for music and it was enough for me.
It was one of those times, that I said yes without thought or hesitation, that everything changed. Now, 6 years after the fact, singing is no longer enough for me. Reality snuck in. The dream got lost in a myriad of things like marketing and politics and radio friendly hooks. I am one of millions of dreamers who all have the same dream and guess what I discovered? A dream DOESN'T sustain you. When you realise that, and it becomes about compromising your dream and your passion in order to pay your bills, you find yourself on a tightrope, teetering this way and that, trying to maintain the balance between survival and sanity, without falling. It's very hard to follow the path that destiny obligingly laid out in front of you, back in the days when dreaming was enough. Especially when you have to keep denying Destiny in order to feed yourself. While you are selling your soul to make money, Destiny is tapping her fingers impatiently on the sidelines and you know she won't wait forever but a fear of losing your grip prevents you from giving in to her. And it's not even just about sustenance anymore. It's about getting yourself out there so people don't lose you in the millions of other desperate hopefuls trying to reach that pinnacle, the holy of holies, that place of all places with the signpost that reads, "You have arrived." (cue the choir of angels singing triumphantly) But that place is rather elusive I've realised. It's the mirage in the desert of the music industry.
The reason for that, I think, is because such a place doesn't actually exist. Not for a lot of artists. They will never arrive because there will always be one more level to climb, one more song to be written, one more show that will outshine them all. It will never be good enough and most will go to their graves still having felt that they're not finished. The well of creativity doesn't dry up. It is continuously filling itself. If an artist wants to find peace, it will only be as fleeting as the length of time they spend drawing from the well. The peace is in the process of creating. The rest of the life of the song is spent endlessly trying to capture that feeling until realisation dawns that it is gone. No matter that the song touched millions of lives. The artist has already moved on to the next creation because she has no choice but to keep striving for that feeling. We never really "arrive".
I was reading "The witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho recently and it seems so simple. Just go where you need to go. Be who you need to be. You will survive as long as you are doing what you are meant to be doing and, with love. It's hard to just let go and let Destiny have her way. It wasn't, 15 years ago. It is now. With knowledge comes fear. How do you take the plunge and allow yourself to fall off that tightrope, trusting that there is something waiting to cushion you? You won't know until you try, it's true. But the "what ifs" can be intimidating.
I can hear Destiny's eyeballs roll up and hit the ceiling with a resounding thud...I know she doesn't get my confusion. She still sees me as she always has, a passionate songwriter with stories to tell to anyone who will listen. So it's just me who has changed then. Am I entirely to blame for that? I guess I am. Nobody has the power to change me without me choosing to allow them. I know that. I forgot how to listen and I can no longer hear what I need to hear.
Ok, admitting this is a start, is it not? I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time. The well hasn't dried up. It's forever filling up. That means there's hope for me yet. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be me and that's good enough. At least, she seems to think so. Ok then...
I step out onto the rope... For a few seconds I sway this way and that way and then, holding my breath.
I fall.
It was one of those times, that I said yes without thought or hesitation, that everything changed. Now, 6 years after the fact, singing is no longer enough for me. Reality snuck in. The dream got lost in a myriad of things like marketing and politics and radio friendly hooks. I am one of millions of dreamers who all have the same dream and guess what I discovered? A dream DOESN'T sustain you. When you realise that, and it becomes about compromising your dream and your passion in order to pay your bills, you find yourself on a tightrope, teetering this way and that, trying to maintain the balance between survival and sanity, without falling. It's very hard to follow the path that destiny obligingly laid out in front of you, back in the days when dreaming was enough. Especially when you have to keep denying Destiny in order to feed yourself. While you are selling your soul to make money, Destiny is tapping her fingers impatiently on the sidelines and you know she won't wait forever but a fear of losing your grip prevents you from giving in to her. And it's not even just about sustenance anymore. It's about getting yourself out there so people don't lose you in the millions of other desperate hopefuls trying to reach that pinnacle, the holy of holies, that place of all places with the signpost that reads, "You have arrived." (cue the choir of angels singing triumphantly) But that place is rather elusive I've realised. It's the mirage in the desert of the music industry.
The reason for that, I think, is because such a place doesn't actually exist. Not for a lot of artists. They will never arrive because there will always be one more level to climb, one more song to be written, one more show that will outshine them all. It will never be good enough and most will go to their graves still having felt that they're not finished. The well of creativity doesn't dry up. It is continuously filling itself. If an artist wants to find peace, it will only be as fleeting as the length of time they spend drawing from the well. The peace is in the process of creating. The rest of the life of the song is spent endlessly trying to capture that feeling until realisation dawns that it is gone. No matter that the song touched millions of lives. The artist has already moved on to the next creation because she has no choice but to keep striving for that feeling. We never really "arrive".
I was reading "The witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho recently and it seems so simple. Just go where you need to go. Be who you need to be. You will survive as long as you are doing what you are meant to be doing and, with love. It's hard to just let go and let Destiny have her way. It wasn't, 15 years ago. It is now. With knowledge comes fear. How do you take the plunge and allow yourself to fall off that tightrope, trusting that there is something waiting to cushion you? You won't know until you try, it's true. But the "what ifs" can be intimidating.
I can hear Destiny's eyeballs roll up and hit the ceiling with a resounding thud...I know she doesn't get my confusion. She still sees me as she always has, a passionate songwriter with stories to tell to anyone who will listen. So it's just me who has changed then. Am I entirely to blame for that? I guess I am. Nobody has the power to change me without me choosing to allow them. I know that. I forgot how to listen and I can no longer hear what I need to hear.
Ok, admitting this is a start, is it not? I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time. The well hasn't dried up. It's forever filling up. That means there's hope for me yet. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be me and that's good enough. At least, she seems to think so. Ok then...
I step out onto the rope... For a few seconds I sway this way and that way and then, holding my breath.
I fall.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Melanie Lowe interview on Gayspeak
You have a rather glamorous image; is that the real you?
Hehe, I am what I am! I love being a woman and I take full advantage! I have been through many phases but everything was always as understated as possible to avoid detection (I have always been a rather shy, introverted girl) But then I met my best friend, Steve. Steve loves to dress women;) He has the most fabulous taste and a great eye. He introduced me to ME basically and I discovered a latent passion for handbags, shoes and slinky, sexy dresses. No matter what phase I was going through though, I always had a taste that seemed to go against everyone else's and whether I liked it or not, I stood out. And that wasn't always in a good way! I find that I am ALWAYS overdressed for an occasion and it doesn't bother me at all. I dress in a way that I feel most like me and if that happens to look glam then so be it;) I am very into simple cuts though. I don't really like frills and fancies. It's more about what suits me and I know my limits. If I'm comfortable then it's working and if I'm not then it's not working and it must go! You will NEVER find me at any evening function, wearing jeans and sneakers! And I am absolutely not a T-shirt girl. I am a woman and I don't see the point of dressing any other way. I am very fortunate to be dressed by Durban-based designer, Terrence Bray who knows my tastes so well. I hardly even have to tell him what the function is and he's already designed the outfit in his head. The man's a genius;)
Who are your favourite divas?
I wouldn't call her a diva but I love Charlize Theron's style. She oozes class out of every pore. She's not afraid to be daring but it always suits her because she is obviously a woman who knows her limits. From her hair right down to her beautiful shoes, she is style and grace personified.
Do you aspire to be one?
Not at all;) I can be outspoken if I feel strongly about something but I will never make unnecessary demands. I don't really know how to be demanding! I think one of my downfalls is that I am too soft in a rather unforgiving industry but I don't think there's anything particularly special about me that gives me the right to deserve something more than others. I don't find anything appealing about divas. What appeals to me is class and there is a way to get things done without having to throw your toys, in my humble opinion.
What’s the best thing about having a gay male friend?
Do I have to pick one?! There is never a dull moment. He is the funniest person I know! I have a gorgeous, stylish date for every function and he'll help me pick out the perfect outfit for every occasion. He is a BEAUTIFUL dancer! He is the perfect gentleman. He will hold doors open for me and always let me go first, he'll hold my handbag anytime, anyplace without any embarrassment. He has no problem with buying me underwear and always knows my size;) His partner will never be threatened by me! There is no sense that he is trying to compete with me. That is something I have noticed about women. They are very sensitive and can feel threatened even by their closest friends. He is a sensitive soul but he is also practical and instead of letting me wallow, he fixes it. When he sets foot in my house it immediately perks up! He just has an eye for decor and he makes it look perfect within seconds. He pays attention to everything I say and years down the line will remember what I said and buy me something I spoke about when I was 16 years old. I can sit and watch The Notebook over and over again with him and he'll unashamedly cry with me, every time but if anyone threatens me, he will happily stand in between me and them and protect me. I could go on but in short, he is my hero and there is no greater best friend for a girl to have.
You said in another interview, that gay men comment on your shoes - what do they say? What do they like about them?
I'm not sure why but it's a rare thing for me to leave a show without a gale man coming up to me and whispering conspiratorially "your shoes are BEAUTIFUL" ;) I love it because I love shoes and I have very specific tastes when it comes to the shoes I wear. They have to be classy and glamorous. I know I am generalising but I base a lot of my impressions of gay men, on my best friend, Steve and gay men have the most beautiful taste in shoes! So I consider it a huge compliment that gay men love my shoes;) In fact, when I go shoe shopping, Steve gets an MMS of all my favourites so I can get his opinion before I seal the deal! That's how much I value his opinion. My favourite pair is a pair he picked out for me and everyone asks me if they're from Italy but they're from Truworths sweetie;) They're bright red, my favourite colour and they make me feel like the sexiest woman on earth! I only recently bought flat, slip-on sandals for summer. Up until a few days ago the only shoes in my cupboard were stilettos and one pair of gym sneakers which are over 3 years old. You can see where my priorities lie! Beauty is pain darling;)
Have you ever been to a drag show and if you have, what were your impressions?
I haven't specifically been to a drag show but I have been in clubs where there were many drag queens, some so beautiful I had to be told that they were men! One has to admire the kind of work that goes into an outfit like that! One of my favourite movies of all time is Priscilla, Queen of the desert. One of the funniest but also, one of the most thought-provoking movies I've ever seen. It brought a previously taboo topic, to the forefront of people's minds. I think the average Jo just didn't even bother to invest enough time and thought into what a drag queen goes through emotionally. The pressure to conform and the need to be themselves and what they go through while dealing with it, is really traumatic. But the way it was presented, so matter-of-fact and so hilarious, made it accessible to everyone which I thought was fabulous.
Would you consider singing a duet with a drag queen?
I've been asked this question in another interview but it was "would I sing a duet with a lesbian" and the answer remains the same. When I decide to sing a duet with anyone I look only at their voice, their music and their integrity as a person and as an artist. The rest is completely unimportant to me. I have very strong ideas about what makes an artist worthy of being in the limelight and their sexuality and dress sense doesn't feature anywhere in my list of prerequisites;)
Do you have any plans to release more Afrikaans songs?
I'm not sure. I write what I feel inspired to write and, if I get the inspiration to write one again, I will. But I can't force a song out and I don't want to try. I'm a big believer in listening to my inner voice and I've always felt that, while I am following the path I am meant to, things will always work out. It's when I try to pressure the universe, that things start to go wrong. I know that I will end up doing what I am meant to do. That's the only way I've achieved what I have.
Most South African artists understandably seem to want to succeed in other countries too; are you going anywhere and if you are, will you promise not to forget us?
I am not going anywhere;) I love this country. That's not to say that I won't try and promote my music elsewhere. That's a given. I love to travel and experience new things, but I am also a homebody and I will always come home. I have fans all over the world and living in South Africa doesn't mean I don't give them any attention;) I don't forget someone who's changed my life and I keep in touch with all of them via email or Facebook, no matter how busy I am. I think it's important to have a personal connection with the people are helping you to realise your dream.
What kind of impact did it have on your life when you started to manage yourself professionally?
I learnt very quickly, to toughen up! It is very hard negotiating for yourself. I am, by nature, a quiet person and I certainly don't like to blather on about my talents! One of my pet hates is arrogance. But I have had to learn to place a value on what I do and accept that, although I love doing what I do, I also deserve to make a living doing it and I shouldn't under-sell myself. Apart from that there is a lot more running around to do and there is always something to do, apart from the actual singing. I do find the songwriting has gotten the worst end of the deal and I aim to hire someone to help out soon, so I can start focusing on writing again.
You are fast becoming the queen of green on Facebook – and no, I’m not talking about anything illegal – tell us about the Green Celebrities project – are other celebrities coming on board?
Haha, queen of green! I think you may have just started something there:) If I am passionate about something, it's hard to hold me back and this is something I feel strongly about. I've been recycling for a few years and have been trying to convert all my friends and family but didn't feel I should enforce it because it was my passion, not theirs. But then I had a conversation with a friend who is a scientist who works very closely with the government. We were talking about global warming and I asked her how bad the situation actually was and she basically told me it was better just to not have children! She said we had 5 years at the most, to turn it around. That scared me enough to make the decision that it was time to make my passion everybody else's problem;) So I started with the facebook group, Green Celebrities. And the reason I chose that name is that, I feel that celebs should be responsible. We ARE role models, whether we like it or not. What we do makes a direct impact on the people watching us. I am very aware that a lot of the people who listen to and support my music, also watch my every move and comment on it at any given time, whether it's positive or negative!! It makes sense then, that if I am setting a good example, people will not only take note, but learn from it. I think anyone in the public eye, who doesn't try and make a positive difference is being more than remiss. My hope is that the more celebrites who live "green" the more people will feel compelled to do the same thing. Bona and Angelina Jolie are good examples of celebs trying to make a difference and it gets people's attention! I haven't gotten them to join yet but I am working on it! Meanwhile I have quite a few celebrities onboard and have managed to organise quite a few radio interviews to promote the group so it is growing rapidly.
It's a powerful position to be in, where you can change lives and one that should never be abused or taken for granted. Society these days is all about "me, me, me" and that is even more evident when something goes wrong! Everybody says "what about me?" There are more important things going on and it's not all about "you" anymore. It's going to take a joint effort to fix things. People only seem to acknowledge a person's importance by how many magazines and tv shows they appear in! So I'm taking advantage of that by getting celebrities to start making a change. The thing is that everyone has a role model and they don't have to be on TV to make a difference to someone's life. We undervalue our own importance all the time. There are unsung heroes in everyone's lives, and what they do will impact directly on those who aspire to be like them.
So to cut a long enough story short, I am living green and I am encouraging not only my fellow celebrities to do the same but for everyone to join the initiative. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Details of how to join Green Celebrites:
On facebook (just search for the group Green Celebrities
On my Ning social network: www.greencelebrities.ning.com
Or they can email: greencelebrities@melanielowe.co.za with a request to be added to the group and they will receive updates that way. I know some people are blocked at work with social networks so I made this option available too.
Myspace or Facebook; which is more active?
For me, it's Facebook. It just worked out that way. I have a myspace page and it's a great way to get your music heard worldwide although I also have a fanpage on Facebook which has all my songs and music videos as well. I take advantage of every social network out there though because there are so many and the more people I can reach the better. I like that you can choose who your friends are on Facebook, before they get to see your profile, so I can be selective;) Bad experiences with a few crazies has made me wary! The internet is a great tool for networking and advertising and I take full advantage of all options!
Tell us a secret …
The thing about secrets is that...once you tell them, they somehow lose their appeal as a secret! I could tell many, and there's no question it would cause quite a stir! But there is a time and a place for everything. In my opinion there is no greater appeal than mystery and I love nothing more than to keep everybody guessing. But you never know what the future will reveal if you pay close enough attention... ;)
Interview by Ulla Kelly
Hehe, I am what I am! I love being a woman and I take full advantage! I have been through many phases but everything was always as understated as possible to avoid detection (I have always been a rather shy, introverted girl) But then I met my best friend, Steve. Steve loves to dress women;) He has the most fabulous taste and a great eye. He introduced me to ME basically and I discovered a latent passion for handbags, shoes and slinky, sexy dresses. No matter what phase I was going through though, I always had a taste that seemed to go against everyone else's and whether I liked it or not, I stood out. And that wasn't always in a good way! I find that I am ALWAYS overdressed for an occasion and it doesn't bother me at all. I dress in a way that I feel most like me and if that happens to look glam then so be it;) I am very into simple cuts though. I don't really like frills and fancies. It's more about what suits me and I know my limits. If I'm comfortable then it's working and if I'm not then it's not working and it must go! You will NEVER find me at any evening function, wearing jeans and sneakers! And I am absolutely not a T-shirt girl. I am a woman and I don't see the point of dressing any other way. I am very fortunate to be dressed by Durban-based designer, Terrence Bray who knows my tastes so well. I hardly even have to tell him what the function is and he's already designed the outfit in his head. The man's a genius;)
Who are your favourite divas?
I wouldn't call her a diva but I love Charlize Theron's style. She oozes class out of every pore. She's not afraid to be daring but it always suits her because she is obviously a woman who knows her limits. From her hair right down to her beautiful shoes, she is style and grace personified.
Do you aspire to be one?
Not at all;) I can be outspoken if I feel strongly about something but I will never make unnecessary demands. I don't really know how to be demanding! I think one of my downfalls is that I am too soft in a rather unforgiving industry but I don't think there's anything particularly special about me that gives me the right to deserve something more than others. I don't find anything appealing about divas. What appeals to me is class and there is a way to get things done without having to throw your toys, in my humble opinion.
What’s the best thing about having a gay male friend?
Do I have to pick one?! There is never a dull moment. He is the funniest person I know! I have a gorgeous, stylish date for every function and he'll help me pick out the perfect outfit for every occasion. He is a BEAUTIFUL dancer! He is the perfect gentleman. He will hold doors open for me and always let me go first, he'll hold my handbag anytime, anyplace without any embarrassment. He has no problem with buying me underwear and always knows my size;) His partner will never be threatened by me! There is no sense that he is trying to compete with me. That is something I have noticed about women. They are very sensitive and can feel threatened even by their closest friends. He is a sensitive soul but he is also practical and instead of letting me wallow, he fixes it. When he sets foot in my house it immediately perks up! He just has an eye for decor and he makes it look perfect within seconds. He pays attention to everything I say and years down the line will remember what I said and buy me something I spoke about when I was 16 years old. I can sit and watch The Notebook over and over again with him and he'll unashamedly cry with me, every time but if anyone threatens me, he will happily stand in between me and them and protect me. I could go on but in short, he is my hero and there is no greater best friend for a girl to have.
You said in another interview, that gay men comment on your shoes - what do they say? What do they like about them?
I'm not sure why but it's a rare thing for me to leave a show without a gale man coming up to me and whispering conspiratorially "your shoes are BEAUTIFUL" ;) I love it because I love shoes and I have very specific tastes when it comes to the shoes I wear. They have to be classy and glamorous. I know I am generalising but I base a lot of my impressions of gay men, on my best friend, Steve and gay men have the most beautiful taste in shoes! So I consider it a huge compliment that gay men love my shoes;) In fact, when I go shoe shopping, Steve gets an MMS of all my favourites so I can get his opinion before I seal the deal! That's how much I value his opinion. My favourite pair is a pair he picked out for me and everyone asks me if they're from Italy but they're from Truworths sweetie;) They're bright red, my favourite colour and they make me feel like the sexiest woman on earth! I only recently bought flat, slip-on sandals for summer. Up until a few days ago the only shoes in my cupboard were stilettos and one pair of gym sneakers which are over 3 years old. You can see where my priorities lie! Beauty is pain darling;)
Have you ever been to a drag show and if you have, what were your impressions?
I haven't specifically been to a drag show but I have been in clubs where there were many drag queens, some so beautiful I had to be told that they were men! One has to admire the kind of work that goes into an outfit like that! One of my favourite movies of all time is Priscilla, Queen of the desert. One of the funniest but also, one of the most thought-provoking movies I've ever seen. It brought a previously taboo topic, to the forefront of people's minds. I think the average Jo just didn't even bother to invest enough time and thought into what a drag queen goes through emotionally. The pressure to conform and the need to be themselves and what they go through while dealing with it, is really traumatic. But the way it was presented, so matter-of-fact and so hilarious, made it accessible to everyone which I thought was fabulous.
Would you consider singing a duet with a drag queen?
I've been asked this question in another interview but it was "would I sing a duet with a lesbian" and the answer remains the same. When I decide to sing a duet with anyone I look only at their voice, their music and their integrity as a person and as an artist. The rest is completely unimportant to me. I have very strong ideas about what makes an artist worthy of being in the limelight and their sexuality and dress sense doesn't feature anywhere in my list of prerequisites;)
Do you have any plans to release more Afrikaans songs?
I'm not sure. I write what I feel inspired to write and, if I get the inspiration to write one again, I will. But I can't force a song out and I don't want to try. I'm a big believer in listening to my inner voice and I've always felt that, while I am following the path I am meant to, things will always work out. It's when I try to pressure the universe, that things start to go wrong. I know that I will end up doing what I am meant to do. That's the only way I've achieved what I have.
Most South African artists understandably seem to want to succeed in other countries too; are you going anywhere and if you are, will you promise not to forget us?
I am not going anywhere;) I love this country. That's not to say that I won't try and promote my music elsewhere. That's a given. I love to travel and experience new things, but I am also a homebody and I will always come home. I have fans all over the world and living in South Africa doesn't mean I don't give them any attention;) I don't forget someone who's changed my life and I keep in touch with all of them via email or Facebook, no matter how busy I am. I think it's important to have a personal connection with the people are helping you to realise your dream.
What kind of impact did it have on your life when you started to manage yourself professionally?
I learnt very quickly, to toughen up! It is very hard negotiating for yourself. I am, by nature, a quiet person and I certainly don't like to blather on about my talents! One of my pet hates is arrogance. But I have had to learn to place a value on what I do and accept that, although I love doing what I do, I also deserve to make a living doing it and I shouldn't under-sell myself. Apart from that there is a lot more running around to do and there is always something to do, apart from the actual singing. I do find the songwriting has gotten the worst end of the deal and I aim to hire someone to help out soon, so I can start focusing on writing again.
You are fast becoming the queen of green on Facebook – and no, I’m not talking about anything illegal – tell us about the Green Celebrities project – are other celebrities coming on board?
Haha, queen of green! I think you may have just started something there:) If I am passionate about something, it's hard to hold me back and this is something I feel strongly about. I've been recycling for a few years and have been trying to convert all my friends and family but didn't feel I should enforce it because it was my passion, not theirs. But then I had a conversation with a friend who is a scientist who works very closely with the government. We were talking about global warming and I asked her how bad the situation actually was and she basically told me it was better just to not have children! She said we had 5 years at the most, to turn it around. That scared me enough to make the decision that it was time to make my passion everybody else's problem;) So I started with the facebook group, Green Celebrities. And the reason I chose that name is that, I feel that celebs should be responsible. We ARE role models, whether we like it or not. What we do makes a direct impact on the people watching us. I am very aware that a lot of the people who listen to and support my music, also watch my every move and comment on it at any given time, whether it's positive or negative!! It makes sense then, that if I am setting a good example, people will not only take note, but learn from it. I think anyone in the public eye, who doesn't try and make a positive difference is being more than remiss. My hope is that the more celebrites who live "green" the more people will feel compelled to do the same thing. Bona and Angelina Jolie are good examples of celebs trying to make a difference and it gets people's attention! I haven't gotten them to join yet but I am working on it! Meanwhile I have quite a few celebrities onboard and have managed to organise quite a few radio interviews to promote the group so it is growing rapidly.
It's a powerful position to be in, where you can change lives and one that should never be abused or taken for granted. Society these days is all about "me, me, me" and that is even more evident when something goes wrong! Everybody says "what about me?" There are more important things going on and it's not all about "you" anymore. It's going to take a joint effort to fix things. People only seem to acknowledge a person's importance by how many magazines and tv shows they appear in! So I'm taking advantage of that by getting celebrities to start making a change. The thing is that everyone has a role model and they don't have to be on TV to make a difference to someone's life. We undervalue our own importance all the time. There are unsung heroes in everyone's lives, and what they do will impact directly on those who aspire to be like them.
So to cut a long enough story short, I am living green and I am encouraging not only my fellow celebrities to do the same but for everyone to join the initiative. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Details of how to join Green Celebrites:
On facebook (just search for the group Green Celebrities
On my Ning social network: www.greencelebrities.ning.com
Or they can email: greencelebrities@melanielowe.co.za with a request to be added to the group and they will receive updates that way. I know some people are blocked at work with social networks so I made this option available too.
Myspace or Facebook; which is more active?
For me, it's Facebook. It just worked out that way. I have a myspace page and it's a great way to get your music heard worldwide although I also have a fanpage on Facebook which has all my songs and music videos as well. I take advantage of every social network out there though because there are so many and the more people I can reach the better. I like that you can choose who your friends are on Facebook, before they get to see your profile, so I can be selective;) Bad experiences with a few crazies has made me wary! The internet is a great tool for networking and advertising and I take full advantage of all options!
Tell us a secret …
The thing about secrets is that...once you tell them, they somehow lose their appeal as a secret! I could tell many, and there's no question it would cause quite a stir! But there is a time and a place for everything. In my opinion there is no greater appeal than mystery and I love nothing more than to keep everybody guessing. But you never know what the future will reveal if you pay close enough attention... ;)
Interview by Ulla Kelly
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Mondi Paper Pickup
On the weekend, I found a website for Mondi Paper Pickup. On the site they said that each suburb, in each province, has a paper pick-up day so I mailed them asking them to please drop off some Mondi bags for me. Nobody responded and, thinking I wasn't going to hear from them, I took my paper to a recycling drop off site on Sunday. (those in jhb east, there's a drop off site in 5th street, Bez valley. Just don't go alone!!!) Mondi come to my area on tuesdays to pick up, according to the website and, with a million other things going on, it was gone from my mind by Monday!
While sitting at my desk today, I heard a hooter and a truck pulling off and when I looked out my door, there were my two, biodegradable, mondi bags!! I'm so impressed with their efficiency and now, next Tuesday I can put my bag out for it to be collected by them. They simply empty my bag of the paper and throw it back over my gate! Recycling paper has never been so easy. I urge you to email them. It's available in all provinces and costs you absolutely nothing. It's such a simple way to contribute to helping our environment. Incidentally you can throw in cardboard, magazines and newspapers so any containers made of cardboard can go too, like five roses tea boxes! Visit this website and mail them, please. You will be making a difference without any effort.
http://www.paperpickup.co.za/default2.asp
Thanks for keeping it green!
Love
Melanie
While sitting at my desk today, I heard a hooter and a truck pulling off and when I looked out my door, there were my two, biodegradable, mondi bags!! I'm so impressed with their efficiency and now, next Tuesday I can put my bag out for it to be collected by them. They simply empty my bag of the paper and throw it back over my gate! Recycling paper has never been so easy. I urge you to email them. It's available in all provinces and costs you absolutely nothing. It's such a simple way to contribute to helping our environment. Incidentally you can throw in cardboard, magazines and newspapers so any containers made of cardboard can go too, like five roses tea boxes! Visit this website and mail them, please. You will be making a difference without any effort.
http://www.paperpickup.co.
Thanks for keeping it green!
Love
Melanie
Labels:
environment,
green celebrities,
mondi,
paper,
recycling
Friday, October 17, 2008
Green Celebrities goes Ning!
I've become very aware over the years, that a lot of the people who listen to and support my music, also watch my every move and comment on it at any given time, whether it's positive or negative!! It makes sense then, that if I am setting a good example, people will not only take note, but learn from it.
The same rule applies to anyone in any kind of spotlight. It's a powerful position to be in and one that should never be abused or taken for granted but instead be used to make a positive difference in every way to everyone and everything. The thing is that that rule applies to everyone but people only seem to acknowledge a person's importance by how many magazines and tv shows they appear in! We undervalue our own importance all the time. There are unsung heroes in everyone's lives, and what they do will impact directly on those who aspire to be like them.
We all exist in our own little circle of life, touching and affecting everything in our immediate vicinity, without realising it. It starts with one person changing their mindset, seeing the effect they have on things within their own circle, and deciding to use that in a positive way and that is the reason for Green Celebrities. The bigger this circle gets, the more chance we have of intersecting with another and then another. That's when you begin to realise we're all part of the same circle and what we do, affects EVERYONE in that circle.
I have created a social network for Green Celebrities. I would be so grateful if you would spread the word about this site. The URL is very easy: www.greencelebrities.ning.com. You can create your own profile, create groups, add events, upload music. It's all related to being green! My main objective is to find as many ways as possible to get the name Green Celebrities, out there. The more people I have joining, the faster I reach my objective and that is to have a group of dedicated people, who are in a position to make a difference, and are also willing to do it! You are all celebrities to someone, even if you don't know it.
Let's use Green Celebrities to create a ripple effect that will eventually touch everything. It can only have a positive effect on our world.
The same rule applies to anyone in any kind of spotlight. It's a powerful position to be in and one that should never be abused or taken for granted but instead be used to make a positive difference in every way to everyone and everything. The thing is that that rule applies to everyone but people only seem to acknowledge a person's importance by how many magazines and tv shows they appear in! We undervalue our own importance all the time. There are unsung heroes in everyone's lives, and what they do will impact directly on those who aspire to be like them.
We all exist in our own little circle of life, touching and affecting everything in our immediate vicinity, without realising it. It starts with one person changing their mindset, seeing the effect they have on things within their own circle, and deciding to use that in a positive way and that is the reason for Green Celebrities. The bigger this circle gets, the more chance we have of intersecting with another and then another. That's when you begin to realise we're all part of the same circle and what we do, affects EVERYONE in that circle.
I have created a social network for Green Celebrities. I would be so grateful if you would spread the word about this site. The URL is very easy: www.greencelebrities.ning.
Let's use Green Celebrities to create a ripple effect that will eventually touch everything. It can only have a positive effect on our world.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I wanna know what love is
A wise person said to me that, when in doubt, I should write…funny that. Telling me to write! It's something I should know but sometimes you forget the things that, you should know, help you the most. So I stole a title of a song I listened to while growing up, as my subject. I think there are a million songs written with that sentiment in mind but there are just a lucky few who get to find out the answer to that question. So, any words of wisdom? Anyone who listens to my songs will know I am an expert on messing love up! We have all had a broken heart…haven't we? Or do I just think that it's normal?! I'm not here for a pity party. In fact I abhore pity. I say it very matter-of-factly. I am one of many who have suffered a broken heart. I don't get any awards for that. What I get is a lesson learned, that I can carry away with me and use it to protect myself from future hurts…right? One would think… And yet, here I sit, on a Monday evening, alone at home nursing a bruised heart again. At 32 years of age you would think my heart would have taken the lesson and run with it and recognised hurt before it manifested itself as the living, breathing thing currently staring me in the face. Hurt comes in many forms, I have realised. It consumes you emotionally, physically and spiritually. And you don't quite know which one to feel first. I guess you don't really get that choice. It's an onslaught you are fairly powerless to stop. But, being an old hand at this game, I know how to run with it. The problem comes in when every situation involves a completely different scenario. There is always something new to face and, currently, I find myself facing unfamiliar territory. Oh well, all this adds character and strength. One has to wonder, how much character and strength is necessary in life, really? I think some of us must've put in a request before we graced the world with our presence saying "I would like to have as much character and strength as it is possible to have in this life, before I die!" I have to laugh. What else can one do? There are worse thing that could happen. There are terrible things happening in the world. If you just keep reminding yourself of that, it makes your problems seem miniscule…right? But it's all relative isn't it? No matter how much you KNOW that life could be worse, and it is sometimes, it doesn't make you feel better knowing that! Because, right now, at this very moment, nobody else is feeling what you're feeling and that is possibly the loneliest place to be. Lonelier still when you don't really know how to allow the pain room to breathe. Easier to downplay it. And so I shall, because ignorance is bliss and what I dont know, can't hurt me. Some call me cynical. Hell, I call me cynical! The thing is, when you confide, in someone, your deepest, darkest hurts and secrets, and they use them as examples of ways to hurt you, you are in danger of becoming cynical. But the world is full of predators and how can one KNOW? How can a person be such a bad judge of character? Was it such a bad thing to believe that the world actually DID have good people in it? I don't think "wiser" is the right word to use for describing what happens as you get older. I think cynical and jaded are far more appropriate. And are those necessarily bad things if they can protect you from future hurt? The thing is, I AM one of those idiotic people who believe everyone is inherently good. And even if you hurt me unbelievably badly I will still give you a safe place to sleep and feel compelled to protect you somehow. Even though I can barely look you in the eye. Self-preservation is strong at the point where pain and confusion cross the line of reason and walk all over you heart. Enough. I am hurt, yes. But I will wake up tomorrow morning and I will do the day, and do it with the attention and focus it deserves because I must and I can and I would never let anyone have that kind of power over me that I would do a half-assed job. When you meet a person you think you could come home to, and they pull the rug out from under you so that you carry bruises for weeks, months, the only thing that you can do is pick yourself up, laugh at your clumsiness and walk away with your head held high. I didn't get this far by letting other's mistakes affect my life and I am not about to start. I still don't know what love is. Being who I am, believe it or not, makes it a little more challenging. Love and obsession and fanaticism blur at times and I can't always distinguish between them. But with time everything gets easier and I know I will get better at it. I do know that loving someone makes you loathe to ever want to hurt them. However, hurt them, you will. But I don't think it will ever be intentional. (Maybe that's just me?) The minute you cross the line of hurt from emotional to physical, it crosses the line from love and goes to obsession and that's when it's time to walk away. Even I know that. I don't think I need help. I don't think my past, bad relationships have made me "difficult" and if you dare to say that you will be crossed off my list. I believe they have made me aware of what I don't need or want in my life and I believe we all have that right, to say, and know, what we need and don't need in our lives and NOBODY has the right to question that. This never turns out how I plan it. It has nothing to do with music. But I have a feeling a song will result from it all. I do know I'm not the first person to feel like this and I dare you to disagree with me. Tomorrow I may feel differently (though I doubt it) and that is my prerogative;) Right now, this is how I feel and so this is what you get! But sitting here in my house, with my cats at my feet and a bunch of fabulous friends who have saved my life on many occasions, I still have so much to be grateful for and nothing is as bad as all that. Tomorrow is another day and I will face it head on, because that is what you do and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Mel answers some of your questions
I had to do an interview for an afrikaans magazine and I thought I'd just put it on my blog because I get asked questions like this all the time and hopefully these will answer some of yours! 1. Tell us a little bit more about your Afrikaans song, "As". What inspired you to write it? I sing at many afrikaans festivals. I really love the atmosphere. I love the artists and most of all, I love the audiences. They have a passion and love for music that I can really relate to and that makes it fantastic to be on a stage in front of them. I wanted to give something back to them and, as I didn't sing any afrikaans songs, I thought I should try one. But I am a songwriter and I wanted the song to be my own style. So I decided to try and write one. It wasn't easy for me but I am happy with it as a first attempt! I just hope the audiences enjoy it! 2. What is the core of the message of the song? It's really just a love song. Everybody who listens to it can relate it some part of their lives, I'm sure. We've all been in love and we all want to be loved. 3. How do you feel about the success of Sweetest of rhymes? I'm so excited about it! I was on tour when I wrote it and who would've thought, when I sat down one day and poured my heart out on a scrap piece of paper, in a strange room, in a strange town, that that song would end up playing on radio stations around the country! It's incredibly humbling to know that my words are being listened to by 1000's of people. You never expect it to happen and when it does, it's just beyond words for me, as a songwriter. 4. And how would you describe the tone or atmosphere of your album Unspoken Truth? There is quite a mixture of songs, lyrically and musically but, to me, it has an all-over more positive feel to it than my first album. I think I was in a very good place when I was putting these songs together and I can feel it when I listen to it. I like to provoke my listeners a bit, and make their thoughts wander along with me through the lyrics and music and I think, and hope! maybe, we achieved that. 5. Where do your songs come frome? Describe the writing process, if you will. I really am not sure! People ask me all the time which comes first: music or lyrics and it's a chicken and egg scenario for me! I can't say. They just pour out. I can feel when I need to write. I'll get a melody in my head with some lyrics and my fingers will itch for my guitar and I'll run for my songbook and then the world disappears for a while. Generally that happens when I am in a moment of experiencing huge emotional upheavals of some kind, whether they are good or bad. Sometimes I look at it afterwards and wonder where it came from! I think the beauty of the creative process lies in it's complete lack of order and structure. It's so wonderfully organic! 6. The SA music industry is known for being fickle, full of ups and downs. What keeps you motivated? Sometimes it is hard and I often have to give myself a pep talk to keep moving forward. I've always been driven by a passion to get my songs heard. I want to find people who are willing to open their minds and listen to what I have to say. I can't tell you why it's so important to me. It just is! I have so many different audiences, all listening for different things at my shows. And some have not been so receptive to anything! But the ones that touch me are the ones that really listen to my songs. There only ever has to be one in the audience and that's enough to keep me going. And when I experience that feeling, there really is no question of whether or not I'll keep singing. My music is food for my soul, and how does a person survive without the thing that fulfills them the most? 7. How has your life changed since Idols? What do you know now that you did not know then? What is the most important thing you have learned? Wow, how much space do I have to write?! My life changed hugely just in terms of my own view of myself as an artist, and as a person. I don't think it's possible to walk away from something like that and not be changed. I grew so much stronger just from having to deal with daily criticism of the thing I loved to do most of all. I don't do it for approval. But I had to gain it anyway. I didn't do it to become famous, but I became famous anyway and I had to deal with having my life scrutinised and picked apart by anyone who wanted to. And it was very seldom done politely! I grew very thick skin and I had to learn that every comment made, was just the opinion of one person and wasn't necessarily true. Being on the other side of the fence has shown me that we are all only doing the best that we can, from the littlest, most unknown person, right up to Britney Spears. And that there will always be someone who thinks they can do it better. But I also learnt that there are people out there who really just live for the music, and that will always keep me bouncing back. 8. What is your motto, in business and in life? (if the latter seems to personal a question, please feel free to ignore it) The personal greeting on my phone since Idols has been "I can do this day". I really believe that life doesn't throw anything at you that you can't handle. Face every challenge head on and take every chance that is offered to you because you can do it. And how else will we grow, if we don't step outside of our boxes and push ourselves to the limit of our endurance. 9. Please complete: Before I die I would like to . . . Have one of my songs be a hit internationally and…Go to Tibet! I have a great weakness for . . . salt and vinegar popcorn and 70% cocoa lindt dark chocolate! The musician (local or international) that inspires me the most is . . . Nianell (local) and Tori Amos (International) What people don't realise about the music industry is that . . . Fortune doesn't always go hand in hand with fame Life is . . . a series of unknown adventures just waiting for you to take chances with!
Mel does Mozambique!
Wow, what a year 2007 was! All I can say is yay for 2008! Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. It just felt pretty much like a rollercoaster ride. Such is my life I guess so what am I complaining about!? Nothing changes;) I think I did way over 200 shows during the course of the year and then, towards the end of the year I had a bit of a scare when I was told by my doctor that I had to rest my voice or risk getting nodules on my vocal chords. Talk about shock to the system. I felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over my head and I went numb all over with horror. I saw my life flash before my eyes…a life without singing…and it was too awful to contemplate. So, the end of last year was a bit strange for me, workwise. I was busy, but not so much with singing. We had to slow down on gigs. I took on other things. For example, I went to Mozambique on a fishing trip! Believe me, its not something I'd ordinarily do! Anyone who knows me knows that fishing has never been my thing;) And who would've thought I would've learnt so much about myself doing all the things I'd always feared… I was in Cape Town for a show. I had barely touched ground the last few weeks and I was actually looking forward to a week at home with my cats to just regroup. It wasn't to be. I received a phonecall from a company called Just Letting. They were putting together a tv show all about fishing and they wanted to include some celebs just for something different. They had already filmed Minki van der Westhuizen and they wanted to know if I was free the following week. There went my week at home! It was with some trepidation that I agreed and asked them to work out logistics with my manager. The show was to be shot in the north of Mozambique at a resort called Paindane, near the town of Inhambane. I would be needed for about 4 days and I would be filmed fishing off a jetski and a kayak, among other things! Well, I'm not one to run away from a challenge so I said yes, of course. I was supposed to fly on the Tuesay but I had been booked for a show which we had postponed a few times due to my voice giving me trouble. I just couldn't postpone it again. It was a fundraiser for the SPCA, organised by an 11 year old boy at one of the schools I had perfomed at during the year. I just couldn't disappoint someone so small, trying so hard to make a difference! The problem was that the school was in Nottingham Road, which is about 1 hour and 15 minutes drive from my house. That meant I wouldn't make the flight. So they organised for me to drive with someone. I was up at the crack of dawn on the Tuesday. First stop of the day was a photo shoot at the pavilion for another gig. From there we raced off to Nottingham Road. After setting up, performing and signing over 200 autographs, we packed up the equipment, got back in the car and raced back to Hillcrest where I packed my last few things and then Alan dropped me off to catch my ride. As a result of all the goings on during the day I only arrived just after 3pm where a very eager John, from Just Letting, was waiting to hit the road! The plan was to get through Swaziland before the border closed. He thought it closed at 9pm. Upon arrival at the Swaziland border we discovered otherwise, much to John's frustration. We were stuck in Swaziland for the night! So we found a beautiful game park to stay in and we made the most of it and had a fantastic and much needed dinner. Needless to say, by the time I arrived at my chalet, I was completely exhausted from a day of constant running and fell into bed after setting my alarm for 4am! I had to be up, packed and ready to leave at 5:45am so we would reach the border just as it opened. Two very tired, blurry-eyed people hit the road again the following day… The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful except for the potholes! I am not sure how many of you have driven through Mozambique but the roads are in desperate need of repair! In fact, they may be beyond repair. I think entire new roads are in order! We were pulling a jetski on a trailer so it was a bit nerve-wracking. The whole drive took around 14hrs and one would've thought I would've been bored but I wasn't. I was fascinated by the country. It is, pretty much, miles and miles of the same thing; war-damaged shells of buildings that have simply been abandoned and left to go to wrack and ruin, with roofs missing and grass and weeds growing through the concrete floors. And all around these abandoned buildings are hundreds of thousands of little grass huts which are the homes of the majority of the people in Mozambique. And they, in turn, are surrounded by thousands of coconut trees! You find yourself wondering when it will end but it doesn't…it just goes on and on for miles. To see poverty to such a large extent, is incredibly humbling. And an interesting bit of trivia is that a villages wealth is measured by the amount of coconut trees they have! Just before we arrived at the resort we had to stop the cars and let the tyres down as we would be driving on beach sand for the rest of our time there. We were driving in convoy with a friend of John's who happened to sell sweets and had brought boxes of them with. He gave me a few packets and out of nowhere I was suddenly surround by hundreds of children all saying "suweet". It was as adorable as it was heartbreaking. Depleted of "suweets" I took a photo of some of them, to their absolute fascination and one can only wonder at a world so different to the one I know, where a camera phone is taken for granted and yet they have never even seen one. With much apologising for having no more sweets, we departed and finally arrived at the resort. What a place! I realised right then and there that I wouldn't need ANY of my shoes! As well as most of my clothing;) It was HOT! and there was only beach sand everywhere. I took off my sandals and went barefoot the rest of the trip. We went straight to the beach bar and ate sushi made from a barracuda that had been caught that day. There is nothing like fresh fish and I ate enough of it that week to sink a battleship! After a fantastic dinner I went to my chalet to get settled in time for lights out which is at 10pm on the dot. Electricity needs to be conserved so, whether you like it or not, everything goes off! I got into the habit of wearing a very stylish (not really!) headlamp! But for convenience it was fantastic because … …I was told call time the following morning was 4am! so much for catching up on my beauty sleep! Of course, it's still dark then so in the mornings all you could see were floating lights and that's how you knew someone was approaching;) And when you have to dress and brush your teeth and eat something in the dark you are very grateful for that little hands-free lamp! So the floating headlights drove down to the beach to prepare and I watched the sunrise over the ocean. A breathtakingly spectacular sight I will probably never forget. And then I had my first experience on a jetski! I was piggy-backing on John's very state-of-the-art jetski. It's quite a scary experience launching a jetski! Especially for someone who prefers to be in the driver's seat. Not that I would've known what to do but having to place my trust in the hands of a relative stranger, not knowing how good he actually was, was difficult for me! And of course, let's not forget all this is being filmed as well…Once we were out on the water (and I'd gotten over the pain of having my foot trampled by John as he jumped aboard!) things were great. We were out there for a few hours and I lost complete track of time as we trawled through the water waiting for a fish to bite. It sounds boring, and I thought it would be. But to be out on the ocean at that time of the morning, with the sun rising in front of you was amazing. We caught one fish out there the whole 3 hours we were there but I got to drive the jetski and experience going at really high speed over the water. A rush I wouldn't have missed out on for anything! My days there were spent snorkelling, swimming and tanning for the camera crew. What a tough job;) I have to say snorkelling was one of the best experiences of my life. I was completely enthralled by the colours and the shapes and the different creatures. Once again, I surprised myself. I have a healthy respect that borders on fear, for the ocean. And yet I swam over half a km out just to see coral and fish and I'd do it again tomorrow! 4 in the morning was fishing time and the next day was my turn on a kayak! Now this, I was terrified for! I get badly seasick and was so worried the motion of the kayak would make me ill. I also felt a little vulnerable being so close to the water because of sharks and having to rely on my own strength to make it back to shore. Once again, I underestimated how much I'd love it! I went in tandem with Heinrich, the presenter of the show. He does it all the time so I felt a lot safer. We went out about 3km, maybe 4 and it was one hell of a workout getting past the breakwater but once we were out it was pretty easy going and I found my rhythm. We were out for several hours before we finally got a bite and Heinrich told me to take it! Panic! But he showed how to do it and I was SO DETERMINED to do this. We almost had a head-on collision with another boat and my Chanel sunglasses fell off my head in the struggle which I was devastated about! It was a big fish. I had no idea how big it was or what it was until it surfaced and good lord, it was a barracuda! If you've ever seen those teeth up close, it's a very scary sight! Heinrich helped me bring it onboard and we put it in the little hatch. Oh my word! My first fish. It's a wierd feeling catching a fish. If it hadn't been for the show, I would've released it. But they wanted to do photos etc. I felt sad for it and I guess the fish and I had a moment, cheesy as it sounds, where I apologised and said thank you. Later when we watched footage I felt like crying at all the fish and how valiently they fought. I was very happy to find out that almost all the fish were released. And the fish that weren't released, fed everyone. Then I felt much better! Later that evening I found out my fish was a whopping 8.6kg! And word spread because everyone i passed at the resort congratulated me. I was one of them! It felt pretty cool i have to say:) My last night we went to visit a nearby village. We took sweets and I took my guitar. When we arrived there were about 30 children to welcome us, all singing their little hearts out. It was beautiful. I returned the favour by singing them a song and then we handed out sweets to everyone which went down really well and I lost my heart to more than a few babies! One of the locals impressed us by climbing up a coconut tree to get us a coconut. I have never seen anyone fly up a tree like that, and with no branches to hold onto! Back at the beach bar I did what I do and entertained everyone there with my guitar, sitting outside under the stars, with the ocean just behind me. The whole evening had a magical, unreal feel to it which, to me, encapsulates Mozambique. It is like stepping into another dimension. The contrasts of the country boggle the brain and the beauty of it can take your breath away. There is an uncomplicated air to the place which, is ironic because the the lives of the people living there are anything but uncomplicated. Yet the people of Mozambique are so humble, hardworking and happy all the time, in the midst of all that poverty. Their lives are all about survival. You can't help but be awed by it. I went there to work but I came away from there feeling more at peace than I'd felt in a long time. It's amazing how something as simple as feeling the sand beneath your feet constantly, can ground you. Being surrounded by nature constantly, rejuvenates you and seeing how much you have to be grateful for, humbles you. I learnt a lot of new things about myself on this trip. I can fish! I am not as scared of the ocean as I thought. I didn't get seasick once and I won't let that fear inhibit me in the future. I can do anything I put my mind to, if I just give myself the chance and try. I'm no stranger to taking chances. My life is all about that! But sometimes you need to be reminded I think, just to boost yourself out of any little ruts you may be in. Facing your fears makes you feel more alive than you've ever felt. It also opens up your mind to a million other possibilities. This is what life is all about. Taking chances, experiencing as many things as you can whenever the opportunity arises. Why else are we here if not to experience, learn and grow. And I know that no matter what happens, even if I could never sing again, it'd just be life throwing another challenge at me and I'd accept it because there is so much to this life and so much in this world that I have yet to experience and who am I to limit myself and decide it's only ever going to be this? I hope I can sing for many, many years to come. I can't imagine a life without it. In the meantime I'll just keep taking those chances and pushing my boundaries so that I'm ready to handle whatever comes my way. Because I've proven to myself that I can!
My first “Innibos Musiekfees” Experience
How does one react when you're the only english girl thrown into the deep end of a pool filled with thousands and thousands of afrikaans-speaking people in a town called Nelspruit, 8 hrs drive from home?! Well, you either sink or swim I guess;) So I brushed up on my afrikaans, packed my bags (again) and drove 8 hrs with my manager, Alan, sleeping next to me;) to Nelspruit. It's not the first time I've been there. But this is the first time I was singing at a totally afrikaans festival. In fact, they weren't keen to have me because I was english. It took a lot of nagging on Alan's part and we all know how good he is at that… So Innibos had no choice, at the end of the day, but to book me! Wednesday was taken up by the Pledge a Million Soccerballs at Gateway, Durban with ECR and Supersport which meant that we had to drive on Thursday which was also the day of my first show. I was up at 4am to pack and get myself ready to leave by 6am. This meant a very tired me, performing on the main stage that was big enough to fit about 50 of me, for loads of people. Needless to say I was very tired and it was all rather overwhelming. However, I am not one to shy away from a challenge and so I raced to my bed and breakfast, showered, did my makeup, blow-dryed the hair, put on my heels and headed for the showgrounds. Thanks to fabulous sound on stage, my voice held out and it was a very successful show. It is always scary singing my afrikaans song for an audience for the first time and I was very aware of how english my accent was when I tried to speak afrikaans. I was also aware of how hard it had been to get into that festival because I was english-speaking. But I started the show by telling the audience I had a secret to tell them…That I wasn't afrikaans! And that was the ice-breaker. After that they were willing to put up with my bad grammar and limited vocabulary. They even seemed to enjoy my afrikaans song and we sold quite a few CDs. The following day I had a gap so I made my way to the local virgin active, something I always do when on tour. It helps me to focus and I feel better maintaining a normal routine when I'm on tour. It ensures that my life doesn't feel so upside down! That afternoon I had a show in the smirnoff/windhoek tent which was a bit of a tough one but we still sold CD's. After that I popped in at Look and Listen to meet up with a friend, Anthony, who I had met on my previous tour in Nelspruit. He works there and has made sure that Look and Listen, Nelspruit are very supportive of my music which I am very grateful for. Then we popped into Ola Milky Lane to say hi to the owner. I have recently added them to my list of sponsors and they have printed me posters and autograph cards. We went to drop off a poster and in the interim, sold several CD's to the owner and some customers! This a regular occurance as Alan has a box of my CD's permanently attached to his person and woe betide anyone who even glances in his direction. They WILL be sold a CD;) Anyway, it was a long, exhausting day and I was happy to get back to my bed and breakfast where I ate dinner, packed and fell into bed. The following day was an early morning due to a radio interview so I was up at 6:30 to get myself ready and pack the car so we could leave directly after my show at 12pm. I had a radio interview on Radio Laeveld at 9:15am which was really nice! It was a very casual, relaxed interview and the best part was I found out that my new afrikaans song, As, is currently on their top 20 chart which is just the most exciting news for me because it is an exclusively afrikaans radio station and I am english! I was there for quite a while and Alan once again sold CD's while I was being interviewed! My show was once again in the smirnoff tent, at 12pm and it went down really well. The audience was very responsive. It was a great way to end off the festival for me. We had a quick lunch and were on the road by 2pm. A stop in Ermelo for petrol resulted in Alan selling 11 cds and a half hour delay which meant a later arrival home and we finally limped into Durban, exhausted, at 10pm. We thoroughly enjoyed this festival. I have never been to a more well-organised festival in my life! The average amount of people that attended the festival per day was probably around 10 000 to 15 000 people, at times much more. The support for local afrikaans artists is absolutely unbelievable and to organise crowds of people like that, as well as 100s of artists, is an amazing accomplishment and everything ran so smoothly. I hope that I get invited back again next year! To read up more about it and to get an idea of the experience, check out their website: www.innibos.co.za You will be impressed! Anyway, until we meet again, keep living the music! Mel
Allow me to introduce myself!
I have been meaning to get onto my space for ages and there never seems to be enough time! I have finally set aside a few hours and got my page up and I am posting some blogs! So where does one begin when there is so much to say and not enough hours to catch up on all that I've missed?! Well, perhaps I should formally introduce myself first… My name is Melanie Lowe. I have been a professional singer for about 12 years now. However, that was taken to another level when I made it to the top three in South Africa's very first season of Idols which took place in 2002. Since then I have been fortunate enough to be able to give up my 9 to 5 day job as a computer software lecturer, and become a full-time singer. In a nutshell, the last 5 years have been spent co-writing and recording the 2nd season of Big Brother's theme song, Cabin Fever, for which I was awarded a SAMA (the highlight of my entire career!) I also recorded and released a duet with Garth Taylor, Islands in the Stream, which was very successful. I signed with Adventure Music Record Label and finally released my debut solo album, Yesterday's Diary. To read about that further click here… During the two years that I toured Yesterday's Diary, I found myself performing at quite a few afrikaans music festivals around the country. I often ended up being the only english artist performing there! I therefore decided I needed to sing an afrikaans song. However, being a songwriter, and a bit of a purist in that regard, I didnt want to sing somebody else's song, I wanted to write my own so I tried and it wasn't easy for a very english girl from Durban (affectionately known as the last british outpost!) The song turned out okay, despite a few rather glaring, grammatical errors! And so, after two years of thorough touring, I started working, not only on my second english album, Unspoken Truth which will be ready for release in just a few weeks but I also started recording an afrikaans single which was officially released 3 weeks ago:) The song is called As (afrikaans for "If") and the single is made up of two versions of As, a radio mix as well as a dance mix and then three of my english songs. I recently returned from my first tour and launch of the single in the Free State, which was very successful. In 3 days time I will be performing it for the first time at Innibos Kunstefees in Nelspruit, a very afrikaans music festival. It is always a bit intimidating being the only english artist at these festivals. Especially since I have had the cheek to record a song in a language that is not my home language and I am always nervous as to what the reception will be like but I guess I will find out soon enough! My intention is to try and do a little write up everytime I return from a tour so I will try and stick to that. For now I think I will leave it at that because this is turning into a short novel already! Until we meet again, keep living the music. Mel;)
My day as a groupie!
I found an old email that I sent to everyone a couple of years back, after the K's Choice tour and thought I'd post it because I just found it quite funny! In the midst of a rather unpleasantly hectic time of my life I somehow managed to find a day to rival all the good days I've ever had, in its absolute perfection, in an obscure little town called Potch this saturday just passed. In fact, it was so good that I decided I had to record it and send it to everyone because I can hardly contain myself;) Most of you have heard of Potchefstroom I'm sure but have you heard of Aardklop?! It's one of the largest Afrikaans festivals in the country and all the Durbanites give a collective: "yes...and?!" I know a lot of you can't say more than "baie dankie" but let me tell you, this is one festival worth going to even if you spend the whole day only saying baie dankie and getting yourself lost because all the signs are in Afrikaans! And I'll tell you why...because K's choice played there this year! Now for all those uninitiated into the world of non-mainstream music (shame on you...) this is possibly one of the most brilliant bands you will ever hear. They are from Belgium and are a brother and sister team. They have 4 albums out and each of them also has a solo album now. And you're all going blah blah where is this going so I'll just forge ahead... I have been a fan for years. I had been thinking of going to Jhb anyway, when a friend told me 2 days before that they were playing at Aardklop so of course I thought it must be a local band because what would they be doing coming here. No-one seems to know them. So I rang the organisers only to discover to my absolute delight that it was indeed THE K's choice!!! I won't include the scream that followed those exclamation marks but you can imagine... Unbelievably I had a few free days and I had been toying with the idea of driving to Jhb to get my bird, Mr Wendell (yes, he is named after the song for those wondering), go and visit Robyn and do a bit of soul-searching, so this was the sign that I was meant to go. I got into mini-me (my very little car for the un-informed) and drove up the drag to Jhb. Potchefstroom is happily only about 115kms from where I was staying so my fabulous friend, Robyn agreed to go with me for which I owe her big-time;) It was kind of fun going on a day trip like that. Upon arrival we immediately got lost but eventually found our way with my bad afrikaans and various phone calls to Tersia (who was also there by the way) We had to park miles away and of course, being a girl who never wears takkies unless I'm at gym, I was in my lovely white heels...needless to say my feet got a good workout. By the end of the day they were raw! But it was ok because, by that stage, I was walking on blissful clouds of happiness so I didn't care;) We had no idea when K's choice were actually on. No-one could tell us and so, in case I missed them altogether, I made poor Robyn get up at the crack of dawn so we could shoot to the airport and say a quick hi to Mandy and Thia (It was so lovely to see you gals even though it was literally a short hi and bye;) and then shoot off to Potch lest I miss my band. So we're waiting to pay to get in (tickets were R85 to get into the stadium but there were about 10 bands playing) and this girl comes up to us and says do we want one of her tickets because her friend can't make it. She wouldn't take money for it so I only had to pay for myself and Robyn got in free! A sign to me that I was in the right place!! How cool is that?!?! In we go running for a toilet because this all took ages and by now we're all bursting, being girls;) Then up to the stage to try find out when my band is on and Robyn goes, "Mel, that's them standing behind us" and I'm like, "no, are you sure?" thinking why on earth would they be standing out there with us looking at the stage too. They're huge international stars you know?! But sure as eggs, it's them!!!!! Major panic stations! What should I do? I'm too shy to approach and while I'm deciding, they walk backstage and the opportunity is lost! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH@!*!!!! Quick as lightning I dash for the Look & Listen stand and buy one of their cds and we head backstage where a very rude security chick (who I know was only doing her job but doesn't she understand what a huge fan I am?!?!??!!) refuses to call Sarah (the lead singer cos of course we're on first name terms;) ) for us so we stand like twits for a while and I'm lamenting the fact that I'm a complete moron when all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, she gets up and starts walking towards the gate even though she can't even see us. So I called, "oh sarah" (smiling smugly at the security guard who was glaring at me) I said "sarah, please will you sign my cd?!" and of course she said yes and we actually CHATTED to her, found out when they were on (which was only 7:45 that night and it was only about 11:30. Once again I'm sorry Robyn for making you get up so early!!!) and I gave her one of my own cds;) cos a little PR never hurt anyone;) She probably chucked it away but there's always the chance.... She was a really down to earth, nice person. Of course I was suffering from brain freeze so the million questions I had, vanished, and I walked off with my mouth full of grinning teeth saying NOTHING!!! Suddenly I had a glimpse of how fans might feel when they come and speak to me at gigs and I have to say it really blew my mind! I was an absolute nervous wreck! I'm sure people don't feel that freaked out with me but at least I got a little glimpse into how nerve-wracking it can be. So anyway, we basically had about 7 or so hours to waste until the show!!! And there were some really odd bands performing there... We walked around the festival a bit but my aching feet gave in eventually so we bought some very oily chicken kebabs for lunch and headed back to the cricket stadium where Tersia and Rene were waiting for us and we blobbed on the grass for several hours waiting. This sounds pretty boring but it actually was really nice lying on the soft grass of the cricket stadium drinking brutal fruits and chatting or just staring into space listening to whatever band was on. I got an awful stomache ache from above-mentioned chicken kebabs because of my annoyingly fussy stomache so I lay down and slept a bit and it went away thank goodness. Especially when Tersia and Rene surprised me with the K's choice DVD that they had to gone to buy me while I was lying prone on the grass as a belated birthday present for me!!!!! (Happy birthday to melly:) I was worried I wouldn't feel well when the band came on but when the time finally arrived I was right as rain and had positioned myself directly in front of the stage so I had a great view!. The show was UNBELIEVABLY AMAZINGLY FANTASTICALLY BRILLIANT!! It was just Sarah and Gert, her brother, doing an acoustic set, no band. I have never screamed so much in my life! I had a lump in my throat most of the time because the lyrics are so heart-wrenchingly applicable to almost everything in my life right now and her voice is just too hauntingly beautiful for any words to describe. It was a complete spiritual, emotional, wonderful experience for me. I felt like I had been emotionally cleansed from head to toe. I found out during their show about the solo albums so of course I joined the maddening crowd to buy it and get it signed (and my new dvd of course) I never have been the groupie type who bothered with autographs but I wanted hers! so I fought tooth and nail with that crowd to get everything signed!!! I left that festival with the biggest grin on my face, sore feet and all I was jumping and screaming and running out of the stadium for the car on a complete high. It was such a good day... I managed to get her solo album which I played on repeat ALL the way back to Durban today;) She so inspired me that I ended up writing a song in five minutes while I was driving back to Durban the next day and, not being able to write I had to put it all in a very long sms while I drove! Thankfully I didn't drive into the barrier and made it home in one piece;) I am now going to love and leave you all so I can go and put a melody to it and maybe one day you'll hear it on my new album! (Incidentally, this song is now my next single going to radio. It's called Come Back Home;) Before I go I have to type the lyrics for one of Sarah Bettens songs which I immediately loved. I think everyone should use these lyrics as their rule book for life. They are so profound and yet so simple. My one problem with it is that I DIDN'T WRITE IT FIRST ! I hope I haven't bored you all to tears. If you have read this far, well done!!! Now read a bit further and then I promise to leave you alone;) For a while..;) Don't stop trying, there's always reason to go on living as long as you can breathe. Stay clear of extremes, Just say what you mean but try not to be mean. You should say thank you often. Like your hair. Wave to strangers everywhere. Do what you're supposed to do. Don't look at what the others do. Think before you buy a car. Don't marry someone you met at a bar. There's no such thing as going too far. Love who you are. Don't be scared of what's ahead But wear a helmet to protect your head. Be aware, say you care, don't say fair. Stay close to the hands that raised you. Watch for signs. Never waste expensive wine. Spoil your body, spoil yourself. Never cheat and share your wealth. Sing when you're glad. Close the door if you sound bad. Don't believe a man who knows he's right. Don't skip ahead, enjoy your flight. Be nice to your dog. Drive slow in the fog. Convince yourself to write a song. Change clothes everyday. Call ahead when you're late. Be safe when you're planning to get laid. Read what you like. Be on your brother's side. It's okay to wonder why But don't expect to understand your life...
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