By now some of you have read about it in the O Magazine, some of you have heard it via the grapevine, some of you have always suspected it and then there are others who are still in the dark and have absolutely no idea what I am talking about!
For those who don’t know, it was never my intention to keep you in the dark and I would hate for you to find out from another source as I truly value each one of you, so you are going to hear it directly from the horse’s mouth!
This message is to officially announce my engagement. The reason that it has been kept under wraps until now is because the announcement was due to be made in the June issue of O Magazine, which is now on the shelves, so you can check that out for the whole story and some pics.
I met my fiancé, Angela, just over a year ago, in Jhb. In fact, it was one of my reason’s for relocating! The things you do for love! I realise this may come as a bit of a shock to some of you but I think, and hope, it’s better to hear it straight from me.
I’m sure you will acknowledge that it’s not an easy thing to tell people and I know I will receive mixed reactions, but that is something that can’t be helped. I like to believe that you will stand behind me and support me. We are very lucky to have the support of most of our family and friends. It makes everything so much easier for us. I know that many people are not as lucky as we are in that regard.
I have always believed in the importance of living your life honestly and with integrity. There are so many people who spend their whole lives searching for their own truth. After many years of struggling with myself, I am finally able to say I've found it, and that is all thanks to a wonderful, supportive partner. I am very proud of who we are and what we have and I know, through all of this, we will continue to grow and learn.
As always, I continue to live the music. I still march to my own beat and probably always will. The music will keep coming, so keep watching this space for details and information. For me, that IS what it's all about. I thank you all for your continued support.
I’ll end with a quote from one of my own songs, which happens to be all about me and my inner struggle with the need to always be true to myself.
“Blue, always it was you, old familiar friend, you hide your face amidst the empty smiles so well. But I recognise your eyes, ancient now, but wiser than the first time that we met”
Much love
Melanie
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, December 8, 2008
Fly, little angel
You left this world on 5 December 2008. In the wake of your sudden departure, lies a pathway scattered with broken hearts and puddles of water formed by the tears of those who have survived you. How, though, does one survive the aftermath of a sudden loss? The reality is too unreal for a mind to comprehend. You were too young, too vibrant, too full of life, too PRESENT to suddenly no longer be.
We all say it shouldn't have been you but I know you know differently. You do understand that it's harder for us, don't you? We have no comprehension of where you are. We have ideas. But we've been told so many different things, how does one really know what to believe? How do you balance logic and reason when there is a total lack of any logic and reason; when your world is tipped on its axis and balance is impossible? How do you begin to tell the broken hearts that it's going to be ok; that you haven't really left at all?
I know you haven't left. I can feel you. Perhaps that's normal. Perhaps it's wishful thinking. You seem peaceful and relaxed. Or is that just my hopeful mind playing tricks on me? How can I sit and talk about this calmly when, every few minutes, the thought of it takes my breath away. How can someone be, and then not be, within the space of a few seconds? How do you get your mind around such a solid fact, when that fact seems to be surrounded by an invisible force field and comprehension just bounces right off of it.
I know you haven't left. I can hear your voice in my head, or is that just my own voice playing tricks on me? I talk out loud to myself so that, when I talk to you, I can convince myself it's normal. Although I'm almost positive you answer me back, what if I just wish you did?
I've experienced loss before, but I was able to start dealing with the loss long before it actually occurred. You didn't give us any time. Was there a reason for that? I know, I know, you have your reasons. I don't want to question the natural order of things. You seem to know what you're doing. This is a very hard lesson for so many people. Do you think they're all strong enough to take the lesson and run with it? Even the strongest person has a limit to what they can withstand. If I'm struggling, there are people who are finding this a thousand times harder.
Does it hurt you to see that? You always had so much love for so many people. You couldn't bear to see anyone sad or hurting. You had a natural gift for empathy. Now that you've left that life and are looking at the bigger picture, it must seem like we're making a mountain out of a molehill. I do think that, the person who you were, was your soul reflected in human form and the caring and compassion you had for people, is a caring and compassion you have for all souls, from whatever dimension. I know you hurt for us, even as I know you are at peace.
I think you chose to come back in that particular form, for very specific reasons. There were souls here, who needed you. We needed to learn from you. You achieved what you set out to do. I'm sure you know that. You taught so many people that love is simple and that it can cure anything. You showed us that life doesn't have to be so complicated, that's it's not worth sweating the small stuff. You had a quiet wisdom that was evident in the times when people needed you, evident in so many ways.
You also had your lessons to learn. In human form, we all succumb to the phrase, "We're only human. We all make mistakes." Your lessons, in turn, were lessons for us. I know you learnt from those around you and you grew from it. You were an old soul to begin with. It didn't take you long to reach the level you aimed for. It wasn't long before we were all learning from you.
You also knew that you had to leave, and that your leaving would be one of the hardest lessons of all, for those you left behind. But before you left you had one more thing to do. You took a soul that was broken and hurting, and helped it to heal, simply by showing it that love could be easy, unconditional and without complication. You truly are a beautiful soul.
Even though I know you're still around, you are missed. Even with your voice in my head, the sadness sometimes overwhelms me and I hope you understand that. We are just human. We are not infallible. I will try, for your sake, to be strong and to pay it forward wherever I can. I'll take the lessons you are teaching me and learn from them. I will never be the same again and I can thank you for that and you know my reasons. You will be missed. The hole you've left can't be filled. There was only one you. But we will all, somehow, adjust to the empty space there.
I know you are peaceful and I'm thankful for that. I know you are happy and, for that, too, I am thankful. I'm also thankful for the brief time we had with you on earth and for all that you gave us. There is so much, that was good, to remember and I'll always treasure those memories. Though we miss you, I know we will see you again when the time is right.
In the meantime, I will try and adjust to the hole in my life and try and fill it with the memories to keep you close.
So, until we meet again, fly, little angel.
We all say it shouldn't have been you but I know you know differently. You do understand that it's harder for us, don't you? We have no comprehension of where you are. We have ideas. But we've been told so many different things, how does one really know what to believe? How do you balance logic and reason when there is a total lack of any logic and reason; when your world is tipped on its axis and balance is impossible? How do you begin to tell the broken hearts that it's going to be ok; that you haven't really left at all?
I know you haven't left. I can feel you. Perhaps that's normal. Perhaps it's wishful thinking. You seem peaceful and relaxed. Or is that just my hopeful mind playing tricks on me? How can I sit and talk about this calmly when, every few minutes, the thought of it takes my breath away. How can someone be, and then not be, within the space of a few seconds? How do you get your mind around such a solid fact, when that fact seems to be surrounded by an invisible force field and comprehension just bounces right off of it.
I know you haven't left. I can hear your voice in my head, or is that just my own voice playing tricks on me? I talk out loud to myself so that, when I talk to you, I can convince myself it's normal. Although I'm almost positive you answer me back, what if I just wish you did?
I've experienced loss before, but I was able to start dealing with the loss long before it actually occurred. You didn't give us any time. Was there a reason for that? I know, I know, you have your reasons. I don't want to question the natural order of things. You seem to know what you're doing. This is a very hard lesson for so many people. Do you think they're all strong enough to take the lesson and run with it? Even the strongest person has a limit to what they can withstand. If I'm struggling, there are people who are finding this a thousand times harder.
Does it hurt you to see that? You always had so much love for so many people. You couldn't bear to see anyone sad or hurting. You had a natural gift for empathy. Now that you've left that life and are looking at the bigger picture, it must seem like we're making a mountain out of a molehill. I do think that, the person who you were, was your soul reflected in human form and the caring and compassion you had for people, is a caring and compassion you have for all souls, from whatever dimension. I know you hurt for us, even as I know you are at peace.
I think you chose to come back in that particular form, for very specific reasons. There were souls here, who needed you. We needed to learn from you. You achieved what you set out to do. I'm sure you know that. You taught so many people that love is simple and that it can cure anything. You showed us that life doesn't have to be so complicated, that's it's not worth sweating the small stuff. You had a quiet wisdom that was evident in the times when people needed you, evident in so many ways.
You also had your lessons to learn. In human form, we all succumb to the phrase, "We're only human. We all make mistakes." Your lessons, in turn, were lessons for us. I know you learnt from those around you and you grew from it. You were an old soul to begin with. It didn't take you long to reach the level you aimed for. It wasn't long before we were all learning from you.
You also knew that you had to leave, and that your leaving would be one of the hardest lessons of all, for those you left behind. But before you left you had one more thing to do. You took a soul that was broken and hurting, and helped it to heal, simply by showing it that love could be easy, unconditional and without complication. You truly are a beautiful soul.
Even though I know you're still around, you are missed. Even with your voice in my head, the sadness sometimes overwhelms me and I hope you understand that. We are just human. We are not infallible. I will try, for your sake, to be strong and to pay it forward wherever I can. I'll take the lessons you are teaching me and learn from them. I will never be the same again and I can thank you for that and you know my reasons. You will be missed. The hole you've left can't be filled. There was only one you. But we will all, somehow, adjust to the empty space there.
I know you are peaceful and I'm thankful for that. I know you are happy and, for that, too, I am thankful. I'm also thankful for the brief time we had with you on earth and for all that you gave us. There is so much, that was good, to remember and I'll always treasure those memories. Though we miss you, I know we will see you again when the time is right.
In the meantime, I will try and adjust to the hole in my life and try and fill it with the memories to keep you close.
So, until we meet again, fly, little angel.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
They can't take that away from me
I've always loved our house. The minute I walked through the door I felt a peaceful energy emanating from the beautiful pressed ceilings right down to the wooden floors and everything in between. It was home before we even made it home. We spent months decorating, making it an extension of us and it truly has become a part of us; our first home together, a safe haven from anything that would harm us. How is one supposed to feel, then, when it suddenly betrays you and you realise the illusion of safety that you had created, was, in fact, just that; an illusion.
It really is peculiar how things can change in a heartbeat. One minute you're getting ready for bed after a long day, the next you're sitting with an ice-pack on your face and fear leaking from every pore in your body and no amount of warmth can stop the shaking.
Daylight brings a false sense of security but you realise that too, is an illusion, when one small, unexpected noise sends your heart rate through the roof and your breathing suddenly comes in short, desperate gasps.
You try to fill your day with mundane tasks. You find, all of a sudden, that if you stop doing those things, and you have a moment without activity, your mind has too much time to form thoughts that you don't want in your head right now.
You try checking your emails or making your way through the work you've been putting aside or reading a book or a magazine, and suddenly your throat begins to close and your eyes well up and you're crying for no apparent reason. How do you explain away crying over an article about "foods to aid digestion"? There's no logical explanation for it and you feel like a fool but that doesn't make it stop.
You used to have no problem with being on your own. Now, suddenly, the silence is threatening, every dark corner seems menacing and you start finding excuses to leave the house. Anything to be away from your thoughts, to try and escape from the danger, you feel certain, is lurking just around the corner.
The freedom I took for granted is gone; freedom to move from room to room casually and without thought, freedom to laugh, to relax, to be at peace in my own space. I'm not sure when anything will feel the same again. You secured my insecurity in one single moment. If I could summon hatred for you maybe I could find enough anger in me to get past the fear, but I can't get past the fear and I hate what you've made me FEEL, but I can't hate someone I don't even know.
YOU don't know me... and yet you clearly hate me, or you hate the person you perceive me to be. Maybe I do have a degree... Who told you musicians don't? Who told you they're stupid? Who told you that you're better than me BECAUSE you have a degree? Are you a failed musician? Are you that insecure? Is that the reason for your hatred? I want to understand. How much hatred does one have to feel to attack someone they don't know, in their own home, for reasons that make no sense? I don't care how much you dislike someone, violence is not a solution. When you turn to violence, you have crossed a line. Once you cross that line you will keep finding excuses to do it again, and again, and again.
But I can assure you, it won't be on our watch. Never again. That will be the last time you get to test those fists in my vicinity, on myself or my partner.
We've always loved our house.
I will not let you take that from us.
It really is peculiar how things can change in a heartbeat. One minute you're getting ready for bed after a long day, the next you're sitting with an ice-pack on your face and fear leaking from every pore in your body and no amount of warmth can stop the shaking.
Daylight brings a false sense of security but you realise that too, is an illusion, when one small, unexpected noise sends your heart rate through the roof and your breathing suddenly comes in short, desperate gasps.
You try to fill your day with mundane tasks. You find, all of a sudden, that if you stop doing those things, and you have a moment without activity, your mind has too much time to form thoughts that you don't want in your head right now.
You try checking your emails or making your way through the work you've been putting aside or reading a book or a magazine, and suddenly your throat begins to close and your eyes well up and you're crying for no apparent reason. How do you explain away crying over an article about "foods to aid digestion"? There's no logical explanation for it and you feel like a fool but that doesn't make it stop.
You used to have no problem with being on your own. Now, suddenly, the silence is threatening, every dark corner seems menacing and you start finding excuses to leave the house. Anything to be away from your thoughts, to try and escape from the danger, you feel certain, is lurking just around the corner.
The freedom I took for granted is gone; freedom to move from room to room casually and without thought, freedom to laugh, to relax, to be at peace in my own space. I'm not sure when anything will feel the same again. You secured my insecurity in one single moment. If I could summon hatred for you maybe I could find enough anger in me to get past the fear, but I can't get past the fear and I hate what you've made me FEEL, but I can't hate someone I don't even know.
YOU don't know me... and yet you clearly hate me, or you hate the person you perceive me to be. Maybe I do have a degree... Who told you musicians don't? Who told you they're stupid? Who told you that you're better than me BECAUSE you have a degree? Are you a failed musician? Are you that insecure? Is that the reason for your hatred? I want to understand. How much hatred does one have to feel to attack someone they don't know, in their own home, for reasons that make no sense? I don't care how much you dislike someone, violence is not a solution. When you turn to violence, you have crossed a line. Once you cross that line you will keep finding excuses to do it again, and again, and again.
But I can assure you, it won't be on our watch. Never again. That will be the last time you get to test those fists in my vicinity, on myself or my partner.
We've always loved our house.
I will not let you take that from us.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Walking the tightrope
I am just one person... One person with a million thoughts...But I have only one dream. At least it started as a dream, briefly became a reality, as if to tease me, and then once again became a dream. It will probably always be this way. Most times I'm sure it's still what I want to do with my life. When I was younger I was never more sure about anything than the fact that I wanted to sing my songs. When you're young you don't think about practicalities. I didn't say to myself, "I want to make a living with my music." I merely said,"I want to sing my songs." The dreamer in me thought that that would feed me somehow. I think it was that attitude that got me to where I am though. If I think about it, when it came to music, I never thought twice, I just said yes, and the universe heard me. There was nothing calculating about it, no ulterior motives, no thoughts of whether or not it'd make me famous, put food on my table, pay my bills... It was just an inherent love for music and it was enough for me.
It was one of those times, that I said yes without thought or hesitation, that everything changed. Now, 6 years after the fact, singing is no longer enough for me. Reality snuck in. The dream got lost in a myriad of things like marketing and politics and radio friendly hooks. I am one of millions of dreamers who all have the same dream and guess what I discovered? A dream DOESN'T sustain you. When you realise that, and it becomes about compromising your dream and your passion in order to pay your bills, you find yourself on a tightrope, teetering this way and that, trying to maintain the balance between survival and sanity, without falling. It's very hard to follow the path that destiny obligingly laid out in front of you, back in the days when dreaming was enough. Especially when you have to keep denying Destiny in order to feed yourself. While you are selling your soul to make money, Destiny is tapping her fingers impatiently on the sidelines and you know she won't wait forever but a fear of losing your grip prevents you from giving in to her. And it's not even just about sustenance anymore. It's about getting yourself out there so people don't lose you in the millions of other desperate hopefuls trying to reach that pinnacle, the holy of holies, that place of all places with the signpost that reads, "You have arrived." (cue the choir of angels singing triumphantly) But that place is rather elusive I've realised. It's the mirage in the desert of the music industry.
The reason for that, I think, is because such a place doesn't actually exist. Not for a lot of artists. They will never arrive because there will always be one more level to climb, one more song to be written, one more show that will outshine them all. It will never be good enough and most will go to their graves still having felt that they're not finished. The well of creativity doesn't dry up. It is continuously filling itself. If an artist wants to find peace, it will only be as fleeting as the length of time they spend drawing from the well. The peace is in the process of creating. The rest of the life of the song is spent endlessly trying to capture that feeling until realisation dawns that it is gone. No matter that the song touched millions of lives. The artist has already moved on to the next creation because she has no choice but to keep striving for that feeling. We never really "arrive".
I was reading "The witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho recently and it seems so simple. Just go where you need to go. Be who you need to be. You will survive as long as you are doing what you are meant to be doing and, with love. It's hard to just let go and let Destiny have her way. It wasn't, 15 years ago. It is now. With knowledge comes fear. How do you take the plunge and allow yourself to fall off that tightrope, trusting that there is something waiting to cushion you? You won't know until you try, it's true. But the "what ifs" can be intimidating.
I can hear Destiny's eyeballs roll up and hit the ceiling with a resounding thud...I know she doesn't get my confusion. She still sees me as she always has, a passionate songwriter with stories to tell to anyone who will listen. So it's just me who has changed then. Am I entirely to blame for that? I guess I am. Nobody has the power to change me without me choosing to allow them. I know that. I forgot how to listen and I can no longer hear what I need to hear.
Ok, admitting this is a start, is it not? I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time. The well hasn't dried up. It's forever filling up. That means there's hope for me yet. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be me and that's good enough. At least, she seems to think so. Ok then...
I step out onto the rope... For a few seconds I sway this way and that way and then, holding my breath.
I fall.
It was one of those times, that I said yes without thought or hesitation, that everything changed. Now, 6 years after the fact, singing is no longer enough for me. Reality snuck in. The dream got lost in a myriad of things like marketing and politics and radio friendly hooks. I am one of millions of dreamers who all have the same dream and guess what I discovered? A dream DOESN'T sustain you. When you realise that, and it becomes about compromising your dream and your passion in order to pay your bills, you find yourself on a tightrope, teetering this way and that, trying to maintain the balance between survival and sanity, without falling. It's very hard to follow the path that destiny obligingly laid out in front of you, back in the days when dreaming was enough. Especially when you have to keep denying Destiny in order to feed yourself. While you are selling your soul to make money, Destiny is tapping her fingers impatiently on the sidelines and you know she won't wait forever but a fear of losing your grip prevents you from giving in to her. And it's not even just about sustenance anymore. It's about getting yourself out there so people don't lose you in the millions of other desperate hopefuls trying to reach that pinnacle, the holy of holies, that place of all places with the signpost that reads, "You have arrived." (cue the choir of angels singing triumphantly) But that place is rather elusive I've realised. It's the mirage in the desert of the music industry.
The reason for that, I think, is because such a place doesn't actually exist. Not for a lot of artists. They will never arrive because there will always be one more level to climb, one more song to be written, one more show that will outshine them all. It will never be good enough and most will go to their graves still having felt that they're not finished. The well of creativity doesn't dry up. It is continuously filling itself. If an artist wants to find peace, it will only be as fleeting as the length of time they spend drawing from the well. The peace is in the process of creating. The rest of the life of the song is spent endlessly trying to capture that feeling until realisation dawns that it is gone. No matter that the song touched millions of lives. The artist has already moved on to the next creation because she has no choice but to keep striving for that feeling. We never really "arrive".
I was reading "The witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho recently and it seems so simple. Just go where you need to go. Be who you need to be. You will survive as long as you are doing what you are meant to be doing and, with love. It's hard to just let go and let Destiny have her way. It wasn't, 15 years ago. It is now. With knowledge comes fear. How do you take the plunge and allow yourself to fall off that tightrope, trusting that there is something waiting to cushion you? You won't know until you try, it's true. But the "what ifs" can be intimidating.
I can hear Destiny's eyeballs roll up and hit the ceiling with a resounding thud...I know she doesn't get my confusion. She still sees me as she always has, a passionate songwriter with stories to tell to anyone who will listen. So it's just me who has changed then. Am I entirely to blame for that? I guess I am. Nobody has the power to change me without me choosing to allow them. I know that. I forgot how to listen and I can no longer hear what I need to hear.
Ok, admitting this is a start, is it not? I guess I'll have to take it one step at a time. The well hasn't dried up. It's forever filling up. That means there's hope for me yet. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be me and that's good enough. At least, she seems to think so. Ok then...
I step out onto the rope... For a few seconds I sway this way and that way and then, holding my breath.
I fall.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Melanie Lowe interview on Gayspeak
You have a rather glamorous image; is that the real you?
Hehe, I am what I am! I love being a woman and I take full advantage! I have been through many phases but everything was always as understated as possible to avoid detection (I have always been a rather shy, introverted girl) But then I met my best friend, Steve. Steve loves to dress women;) He has the most fabulous taste and a great eye. He introduced me to ME basically and I discovered a latent passion for handbags, shoes and slinky, sexy dresses. No matter what phase I was going through though, I always had a taste that seemed to go against everyone else's and whether I liked it or not, I stood out. And that wasn't always in a good way! I find that I am ALWAYS overdressed for an occasion and it doesn't bother me at all. I dress in a way that I feel most like me and if that happens to look glam then so be it;) I am very into simple cuts though. I don't really like frills and fancies. It's more about what suits me and I know my limits. If I'm comfortable then it's working and if I'm not then it's not working and it must go! You will NEVER find me at any evening function, wearing jeans and sneakers! And I am absolutely not a T-shirt girl. I am a woman and I don't see the point of dressing any other way. I am very fortunate to be dressed by Durban-based designer, Terrence Bray who knows my tastes so well. I hardly even have to tell him what the function is and he's already designed the outfit in his head. The man's a genius;)
Who are your favourite divas?
I wouldn't call her a diva but I love Charlize Theron's style. She oozes class out of every pore. She's not afraid to be daring but it always suits her because she is obviously a woman who knows her limits. From her hair right down to her beautiful shoes, she is style and grace personified.
Do you aspire to be one?
Not at all;) I can be outspoken if I feel strongly about something but I will never make unnecessary demands. I don't really know how to be demanding! I think one of my downfalls is that I am too soft in a rather unforgiving industry but I don't think there's anything particularly special about me that gives me the right to deserve something more than others. I don't find anything appealing about divas. What appeals to me is class and there is a way to get things done without having to throw your toys, in my humble opinion.
What’s the best thing about having a gay male friend?
Do I have to pick one?! There is never a dull moment. He is the funniest person I know! I have a gorgeous, stylish date for every function and he'll help me pick out the perfect outfit for every occasion. He is a BEAUTIFUL dancer! He is the perfect gentleman. He will hold doors open for me and always let me go first, he'll hold my handbag anytime, anyplace without any embarrassment. He has no problem with buying me underwear and always knows my size;) His partner will never be threatened by me! There is no sense that he is trying to compete with me. That is something I have noticed about women. They are very sensitive and can feel threatened even by their closest friends. He is a sensitive soul but he is also practical and instead of letting me wallow, he fixes it. When he sets foot in my house it immediately perks up! He just has an eye for decor and he makes it look perfect within seconds. He pays attention to everything I say and years down the line will remember what I said and buy me something I spoke about when I was 16 years old. I can sit and watch The Notebook over and over again with him and he'll unashamedly cry with me, every time but if anyone threatens me, he will happily stand in between me and them and protect me. I could go on but in short, he is my hero and there is no greater best friend for a girl to have.
You said in another interview, that gay men comment on your shoes - what do they say? What do they like about them?
I'm not sure why but it's a rare thing for me to leave a show without a gale man coming up to me and whispering conspiratorially "your shoes are BEAUTIFUL" ;) I love it because I love shoes and I have very specific tastes when it comes to the shoes I wear. They have to be classy and glamorous. I know I am generalising but I base a lot of my impressions of gay men, on my best friend, Steve and gay men have the most beautiful taste in shoes! So I consider it a huge compliment that gay men love my shoes;) In fact, when I go shoe shopping, Steve gets an MMS of all my favourites so I can get his opinion before I seal the deal! That's how much I value his opinion. My favourite pair is a pair he picked out for me and everyone asks me if they're from Italy but they're from Truworths sweetie;) They're bright red, my favourite colour and they make me feel like the sexiest woman on earth! I only recently bought flat, slip-on sandals for summer. Up until a few days ago the only shoes in my cupboard were stilettos and one pair of gym sneakers which are over 3 years old. You can see where my priorities lie! Beauty is pain darling;)
Have you ever been to a drag show and if you have, what were your impressions?
I haven't specifically been to a drag show but I have been in clubs where there were many drag queens, some so beautiful I had to be told that they were men! One has to admire the kind of work that goes into an outfit like that! One of my favourite movies of all time is Priscilla, Queen of the desert. One of the funniest but also, one of the most thought-provoking movies I've ever seen. It brought a previously taboo topic, to the forefront of people's minds. I think the average Jo just didn't even bother to invest enough time and thought into what a drag queen goes through emotionally. The pressure to conform and the need to be themselves and what they go through while dealing with it, is really traumatic. But the way it was presented, so matter-of-fact and so hilarious, made it accessible to everyone which I thought was fabulous.
Would you consider singing a duet with a drag queen?
I've been asked this question in another interview but it was "would I sing a duet with a lesbian" and the answer remains the same. When I decide to sing a duet with anyone I look only at their voice, their music and their integrity as a person and as an artist. The rest is completely unimportant to me. I have very strong ideas about what makes an artist worthy of being in the limelight and their sexuality and dress sense doesn't feature anywhere in my list of prerequisites;)
Do you have any plans to release more Afrikaans songs?
I'm not sure. I write what I feel inspired to write and, if I get the inspiration to write one again, I will. But I can't force a song out and I don't want to try. I'm a big believer in listening to my inner voice and I've always felt that, while I am following the path I am meant to, things will always work out. It's when I try to pressure the universe, that things start to go wrong. I know that I will end up doing what I am meant to do. That's the only way I've achieved what I have.
Most South African artists understandably seem to want to succeed in other countries too; are you going anywhere and if you are, will you promise not to forget us?
I am not going anywhere;) I love this country. That's not to say that I won't try and promote my music elsewhere. That's a given. I love to travel and experience new things, but I am also a homebody and I will always come home. I have fans all over the world and living in South Africa doesn't mean I don't give them any attention;) I don't forget someone who's changed my life and I keep in touch with all of them via email or Facebook, no matter how busy I am. I think it's important to have a personal connection with the people are helping you to realise your dream.
What kind of impact did it have on your life when you started to manage yourself professionally?
I learnt very quickly, to toughen up! It is very hard negotiating for yourself. I am, by nature, a quiet person and I certainly don't like to blather on about my talents! One of my pet hates is arrogance. But I have had to learn to place a value on what I do and accept that, although I love doing what I do, I also deserve to make a living doing it and I shouldn't under-sell myself. Apart from that there is a lot more running around to do and there is always something to do, apart from the actual singing. I do find the songwriting has gotten the worst end of the deal and I aim to hire someone to help out soon, so I can start focusing on writing again.
You are fast becoming the queen of green on Facebook – and no, I’m not talking about anything illegal – tell us about the Green Celebrities project – are other celebrities coming on board?
Haha, queen of green! I think you may have just started something there:) If I am passionate about something, it's hard to hold me back and this is something I feel strongly about. I've been recycling for a few years and have been trying to convert all my friends and family but didn't feel I should enforce it because it was my passion, not theirs. But then I had a conversation with a friend who is a scientist who works very closely with the government. We were talking about global warming and I asked her how bad the situation actually was and she basically told me it was better just to not have children! She said we had 5 years at the most, to turn it around. That scared me enough to make the decision that it was time to make my passion everybody else's problem;) So I started with the facebook group, Green Celebrities. And the reason I chose that name is that, I feel that celebs should be responsible. We ARE role models, whether we like it or not. What we do makes a direct impact on the people watching us. I am very aware that a lot of the people who listen to and support my music, also watch my every move and comment on it at any given time, whether it's positive or negative!! It makes sense then, that if I am setting a good example, people will not only take note, but learn from it. I think anyone in the public eye, who doesn't try and make a positive difference is being more than remiss. My hope is that the more celebrites who live "green" the more people will feel compelled to do the same thing. Bona and Angelina Jolie are good examples of celebs trying to make a difference and it gets people's attention! I haven't gotten them to join yet but I am working on it! Meanwhile I have quite a few celebrities onboard and have managed to organise quite a few radio interviews to promote the group so it is growing rapidly.
It's a powerful position to be in, where you can change lives and one that should never be abused or taken for granted. Society these days is all about "me, me, me" and that is even more evident when something goes wrong! Everybody says "what about me?" There are more important things going on and it's not all about "you" anymore. It's going to take a joint effort to fix things. People only seem to acknowledge a person's importance by how many magazines and tv shows they appear in! So I'm taking advantage of that by getting celebrities to start making a change. The thing is that everyone has a role model and they don't have to be on TV to make a difference to someone's life. We undervalue our own importance all the time. There are unsung heroes in everyone's lives, and what they do will impact directly on those who aspire to be like them.
So to cut a long enough story short, I am living green and I am encouraging not only my fellow celebrities to do the same but for everyone to join the initiative. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Details of how to join Green Celebrites:
On facebook (just search for the group Green Celebrities
On my Ning social network: www.greencelebrities.ning.com
Or they can email: greencelebrities@melanielowe.co.za with a request to be added to the group and they will receive updates that way. I know some people are blocked at work with social networks so I made this option available too.
Myspace or Facebook; which is more active?
For me, it's Facebook. It just worked out that way. I have a myspace page and it's a great way to get your music heard worldwide although I also have a fanpage on Facebook which has all my songs and music videos as well. I take advantage of every social network out there though because there are so many and the more people I can reach the better. I like that you can choose who your friends are on Facebook, before they get to see your profile, so I can be selective;) Bad experiences with a few crazies has made me wary! The internet is a great tool for networking and advertising and I take full advantage of all options!
Tell us a secret …
The thing about secrets is that...once you tell them, they somehow lose their appeal as a secret! I could tell many, and there's no question it would cause quite a stir! But there is a time and a place for everything. In my opinion there is no greater appeal than mystery and I love nothing more than to keep everybody guessing. But you never know what the future will reveal if you pay close enough attention... ;)
Interview by Ulla Kelly
Hehe, I am what I am! I love being a woman and I take full advantage! I have been through many phases but everything was always as understated as possible to avoid detection (I have always been a rather shy, introverted girl) But then I met my best friend, Steve. Steve loves to dress women;) He has the most fabulous taste and a great eye. He introduced me to ME basically and I discovered a latent passion for handbags, shoes and slinky, sexy dresses. No matter what phase I was going through though, I always had a taste that seemed to go against everyone else's and whether I liked it or not, I stood out. And that wasn't always in a good way! I find that I am ALWAYS overdressed for an occasion and it doesn't bother me at all. I dress in a way that I feel most like me and if that happens to look glam then so be it;) I am very into simple cuts though. I don't really like frills and fancies. It's more about what suits me and I know my limits. If I'm comfortable then it's working and if I'm not then it's not working and it must go! You will NEVER find me at any evening function, wearing jeans and sneakers! And I am absolutely not a T-shirt girl. I am a woman and I don't see the point of dressing any other way. I am very fortunate to be dressed by Durban-based designer, Terrence Bray who knows my tastes so well. I hardly even have to tell him what the function is and he's already designed the outfit in his head. The man's a genius;)
Who are your favourite divas?
I wouldn't call her a diva but I love Charlize Theron's style. She oozes class out of every pore. She's not afraid to be daring but it always suits her because she is obviously a woman who knows her limits. From her hair right down to her beautiful shoes, she is style and grace personified.
Do you aspire to be one?
Not at all;) I can be outspoken if I feel strongly about something but I will never make unnecessary demands. I don't really know how to be demanding! I think one of my downfalls is that I am too soft in a rather unforgiving industry but I don't think there's anything particularly special about me that gives me the right to deserve something more than others. I don't find anything appealing about divas. What appeals to me is class and there is a way to get things done without having to throw your toys, in my humble opinion.
What’s the best thing about having a gay male friend?
Do I have to pick one?! There is never a dull moment. He is the funniest person I know! I have a gorgeous, stylish date for every function and he'll help me pick out the perfect outfit for every occasion. He is a BEAUTIFUL dancer! He is the perfect gentleman. He will hold doors open for me and always let me go first, he'll hold my handbag anytime, anyplace without any embarrassment. He has no problem with buying me underwear and always knows my size;) His partner will never be threatened by me! There is no sense that he is trying to compete with me. That is something I have noticed about women. They are very sensitive and can feel threatened even by their closest friends. He is a sensitive soul but he is also practical and instead of letting me wallow, he fixes it. When he sets foot in my house it immediately perks up! He just has an eye for decor and he makes it look perfect within seconds. He pays attention to everything I say and years down the line will remember what I said and buy me something I spoke about when I was 16 years old. I can sit and watch The Notebook over and over again with him and he'll unashamedly cry with me, every time but if anyone threatens me, he will happily stand in between me and them and protect me. I could go on but in short, he is my hero and there is no greater best friend for a girl to have.
You said in another interview, that gay men comment on your shoes - what do they say? What do they like about them?
I'm not sure why but it's a rare thing for me to leave a show without a gale man coming up to me and whispering conspiratorially "your shoes are BEAUTIFUL" ;) I love it because I love shoes and I have very specific tastes when it comes to the shoes I wear. They have to be classy and glamorous. I know I am generalising but I base a lot of my impressions of gay men, on my best friend, Steve and gay men have the most beautiful taste in shoes! So I consider it a huge compliment that gay men love my shoes;) In fact, when I go shoe shopping, Steve gets an MMS of all my favourites so I can get his opinion before I seal the deal! That's how much I value his opinion. My favourite pair is a pair he picked out for me and everyone asks me if they're from Italy but they're from Truworths sweetie;) They're bright red, my favourite colour and they make me feel like the sexiest woman on earth! I only recently bought flat, slip-on sandals for summer. Up until a few days ago the only shoes in my cupboard were stilettos and one pair of gym sneakers which are over 3 years old. You can see where my priorities lie! Beauty is pain darling;)
Have you ever been to a drag show and if you have, what were your impressions?
I haven't specifically been to a drag show but I have been in clubs where there were many drag queens, some so beautiful I had to be told that they were men! One has to admire the kind of work that goes into an outfit like that! One of my favourite movies of all time is Priscilla, Queen of the desert. One of the funniest but also, one of the most thought-provoking movies I've ever seen. It brought a previously taboo topic, to the forefront of people's minds. I think the average Jo just didn't even bother to invest enough time and thought into what a drag queen goes through emotionally. The pressure to conform and the need to be themselves and what they go through while dealing with it, is really traumatic. But the way it was presented, so matter-of-fact and so hilarious, made it accessible to everyone which I thought was fabulous.
Would you consider singing a duet with a drag queen?
I've been asked this question in another interview but it was "would I sing a duet with a lesbian" and the answer remains the same. When I decide to sing a duet with anyone I look only at their voice, their music and their integrity as a person and as an artist. The rest is completely unimportant to me. I have very strong ideas about what makes an artist worthy of being in the limelight and their sexuality and dress sense doesn't feature anywhere in my list of prerequisites;)
Do you have any plans to release more Afrikaans songs?
I'm not sure. I write what I feel inspired to write and, if I get the inspiration to write one again, I will. But I can't force a song out and I don't want to try. I'm a big believer in listening to my inner voice and I've always felt that, while I am following the path I am meant to, things will always work out. It's when I try to pressure the universe, that things start to go wrong. I know that I will end up doing what I am meant to do. That's the only way I've achieved what I have.
Most South African artists understandably seem to want to succeed in other countries too; are you going anywhere and if you are, will you promise not to forget us?
I am not going anywhere;) I love this country. That's not to say that I won't try and promote my music elsewhere. That's a given. I love to travel and experience new things, but I am also a homebody and I will always come home. I have fans all over the world and living in South Africa doesn't mean I don't give them any attention;) I don't forget someone who's changed my life and I keep in touch with all of them via email or Facebook, no matter how busy I am. I think it's important to have a personal connection with the people are helping you to realise your dream.
What kind of impact did it have on your life when you started to manage yourself professionally?
I learnt very quickly, to toughen up! It is very hard negotiating for yourself. I am, by nature, a quiet person and I certainly don't like to blather on about my talents! One of my pet hates is arrogance. But I have had to learn to place a value on what I do and accept that, although I love doing what I do, I also deserve to make a living doing it and I shouldn't under-sell myself. Apart from that there is a lot more running around to do and there is always something to do, apart from the actual singing. I do find the songwriting has gotten the worst end of the deal and I aim to hire someone to help out soon, so I can start focusing on writing again.
You are fast becoming the queen of green on Facebook – and no, I’m not talking about anything illegal – tell us about the Green Celebrities project – are other celebrities coming on board?
Haha, queen of green! I think you may have just started something there:) If I am passionate about something, it's hard to hold me back and this is something I feel strongly about. I've been recycling for a few years and have been trying to convert all my friends and family but didn't feel I should enforce it because it was my passion, not theirs. But then I had a conversation with a friend who is a scientist who works very closely with the government. We were talking about global warming and I asked her how bad the situation actually was and she basically told me it was better just to not have children! She said we had 5 years at the most, to turn it around. That scared me enough to make the decision that it was time to make my passion everybody else's problem;) So I started with the facebook group, Green Celebrities. And the reason I chose that name is that, I feel that celebs should be responsible. We ARE role models, whether we like it or not. What we do makes a direct impact on the people watching us. I am very aware that a lot of the people who listen to and support my music, also watch my every move and comment on it at any given time, whether it's positive or negative!! It makes sense then, that if I am setting a good example, people will not only take note, but learn from it. I think anyone in the public eye, who doesn't try and make a positive difference is being more than remiss. My hope is that the more celebrites who live "green" the more people will feel compelled to do the same thing. Bona and Angelina Jolie are good examples of celebs trying to make a difference and it gets people's attention! I haven't gotten them to join yet but I am working on it! Meanwhile I have quite a few celebrities onboard and have managed to organise quite a few radio interviews to promote the group so it is growing rapidly.
It's a powerful position to be in, where you can change lives and one that should never be abused or taken for granted. Society these days is all about "me, me, me" and that is even more evident when something goes wrong! Everybody says "what about me?" There are more important things going on and it's not all about "you" anymore. It's going to take a joint effort to fix things. People only seem to acknowledge a person's importance by how many magazines and tv shows they appear in! So I'm taking advantage of that by getting celebrities to start making a change. The thing is that everyone has a role model and they don't have to be on TV to make a difference to someone's life. We undervalue our own importance all the time. There are unsung heroes in everyone's lives, and what they do will impact directly on those who aspire to be like them.
So to cut a long enough story short, I am living green and I am encouraging not only my fellow celebrities to do the same but for everyone to join the initiative. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Details of how to join Green Celebrites:
On facebook (just search for the group Green Celebrities
On my Ning social network: www.greencelebrities.ning.com
Or they can email: greencelebrities@melanielowe.co.za with a request to be added to the group and they will receive updates that way. I know some people are blocked at work with social networks so I made this option available too.
Myspace or Facebook; which is more active?
For me, it's Facebook. It just worked out that way. I have a myspace page and it's a great way to get your music heard worldwide although I also have a fanpage on Facebook which has all my songs and music videos as well. I take advantage of every social network out there though because there are so many and the more people I can reach the better. I like that you can choose who your friends are on Facebook, before they get to see your profile, so I can be selective;) Bad experiences with a few crazies has made me wary! The internet is a great tool for networking and advertising and I take full advantage of all options!
Tell us a secret …
The thing about secrets is that...once you tell them, they somehow lose their appeal as a secret! I could tell many, and there's no question it would cause quite a stir! But there is a time and a place for everything. In my opinion there is no greater appeal than mystery and I love nothing more than to keep everybody guessing. But you never know what the future will reveal if you pay close enough attention... ;)
Interview by Ulla Kelly
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Mondi Paper Pickup
On the weekend, I found a website for Mondi Paper Pickup. On the site they said that each suburb, in each province, has a paper pick-up day so I mailed them asking them to please drop off some Mondi bags for me. Nobody responded and, thinking I wasn't going to hear from them, I took my paper to a recycling drop off site on Sunday. (those in jhb east, there's a drop off site in 5th street, Bez valley. Just don't go alone!!!) Mondi come to my area on tuesdays to pick up, according to the website and, with a million other things going on, it was gone from my mind by Monday!
While sitting at my desk today, I heard a hooter and a truck pulling off and when I looked out my door, there were my two, biodegradable, mondi bags!! I'm so impressed with their efficiency and now, next Tuesday I can put my bag out for it to be collected by them. They simply empty my bag of the paper and throw it back over my gate! Recycling paper has never been so easy. I urge you to email them. It's available in all provinces and costs you absolutely nothing. It's such a simple way to contribute to helping our environment. Incidentally you can throw in cardboard, magazines and newspapers so any containers made of cardboard can go too, like five roses tea boxes! Visit this website and mail them, please. You will be making a difference without any effort.
http://www.paperpickup.co.za/default2.asp
Thanks for keeping it green!
Love
Melanie
While sitting at my desk today, I heard a hooter and a truck pulling off and when I looked out my door, there were my two, biodegradable, mondi bags!! I'm so impressed with their efficiency and now, next Tuesday I can put my bag out for it to be collected by them. They simply empty my bag of the paper and throw it back over my gate! Recycling paper has never been so easy. I urge you to email them. It's available in all provinces and costs you absolutely nothing. It's such a simple way to contribute to helping our environment. Incidentally you can throw in cardboard, magazines and newspapers so any containers made of cardboard can go too, like five roses tea boxes! Visit this website and mail them, please. You will be making a difference without any effort.
http://www.paperpickup.co.
Thanks for keeping it green!
Love
Melanie
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